


Nothing

by hidingoutbackstage



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I'm kind of sorry, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, So much angst, kind of not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-09-08 06:12:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8833486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidingoutbackstage/pseuds/hidingoutbackstage
Summary: Bryce invites his best friends over for a week to celebrate him reaching 300,000 subscribers! However, a lot can happen in 1 week.





	1. Day 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 1 of my new fic! Hope y'all enjoy!

Bryce could not be more excited. He also couldn’t be more nervous, but it was a good kind of nervous. He was happy, but still nervous. It was a difficult feeling to explain, but it was there.

He’d just reached 300,000 subscribers, which was a wonderful and incredible milestone for him. His friends, Ohmwrecker, H20 Delirious, and CaRtOoNz had all congratulated him, and Delirious had suggested that they go to Bryce’s to celebrate. He’d said it as somewhat of a joke, but the rest of the guys thought it’d be fun for them to all meet in person for the first time. After a little organizing and planning, it was decided that the guys would come over to Bryce’s house for a week to hang out.

Since this was the first time all four of them would be meeting in person for the first time, Bryce was, naturally, excited and nervous.

It was finally Thursday, the day that everyone was coming over. Bryce wanted to see his best friends, he really did, he was just nervous about everything going right, about not messing things up just because they were all in person instead of talking through headsets.

Bryce heard his phone ding and he picked it up eagerly. On the screen was a message from CaRtOoNz. “Hey man, just got off the plane. Delirious and I should be there in about half an hour.” Right, CaRtOoNz and Delirious had met up yesterday and took the same flight. Ohm was going to be a couple of hours later, since he lived farther away and would have to catch a later flight, but he was still excited that they were coming to visit.

Bryce responded to CaRtOoNz’s text. “Cool, see you guys then.” As the message sent, Bryce collapsed on his couch next to Taquito. He gently pet the top of the cat’s head, which helped calm him down just a bit. He really wanted to see his friends, but at the same time, he was worried about seeing them.

Please, please let nothing go wrong, he thought silently.

\-----

A little while later, the doorbell rang, and Bryce all but sprinted to answer the door. When he opened it, CaRtOoNz and who he guessed was Delirious were standing there, each with a suitcase and an extra bag.

“Bryce!” the two shouted in unison and dropped their bags to give the man a hug. Bryce laughed and hugged them both back.

“Hey guys, good to see you,” he said, pulling away.

“You too, man,” Delirious said, grabbing his luggage and carrying it inside. “Nice place by the way.”

“Thanks. You can put your stuff in the guest room for now, when Ohm gets here you guys can dish out the sleeping arrangements.”

“Thanks man. Y’know, it’s really good to meet you in person,” Delirious said, hugging Bryce once more. It suddenly occurred to Bryce that he was getting to see Delirious’ face for the first time. The man was actually pretty attractive (not that Bryce was gay), he had long-ish hair that was somewhat wavy, his skin was a nice tan color, and his eyes were a rich shade of blue with hints of emerald green and flecks of gold in the lighting.

“Good to meet you too, Delirious,” Bryce said.

Delirious eyed him somewhat mischievously. “Psh! None of that ‘Delirious’ crap while we’re here. Call me Jon for now, k?” Bryce just nodded.

CaRtOoNz was still dragging is stuff into the house. “Yeah, and you can call me Luke.” Bryce nodded again. He heard another ding from his cell phone. It was a text from Ohm.

“Boarding the plane now. See you in a few hours, Brycey.” Bryce smiled; he couldn’t believe he was going to meet Ohm in just a couple hours. Sure, the two skyped frequently but it wouldn’t be the same as actually getting to see him in person.

“What’s up Bryce? Get a text from your girlfriend?” Luke teased. Bryce rolled his eyes and blushed slightly.

“No. It’s just Ohm. He just got on the plane, should be here in a couple hours,” Bryce said absentmindedly as he replied to Ohm’s text. “Great! See you then :)”

“Aw, Bryce, you’re cute when you blush,” Jon teased. Bryce ignored him, used to hearing those kinds of flirty jokes from the guys.

“Whatever. Either of you guys hungry? There should be-”

“Yes!” Luke and Jon interrupted simultaneously and bolted to the kitchen.

“Help yourself to anything you like!” Bryce called, though he doubted either of them heard him. They were arguing over potato chips and Bryce just giggled to himself. Once again, he sat down on his couch and, once again, Taquito jumped up, demanding to be pet. Bryce picked him up and snuggled the kitten to his chest, trying to ignore the shouts coming from the kitchen.

This week will be fun, Bryce thought, slowly falling asleep. I can’t wait.

\-----

Bryce was awoken by the sound of his doorbell ringing. He hated being a light sleeper, sometimes. At first, he was somewhat confused. It rang a second time, seeming more urgent, and Bryce suddenly remembered who it was, sprinting to answer the door.

Ohm was standing there, about to press the button a third time, but stopped when Bryce opened the door. The two froze for a second, but then they both grinned and practically collapsed into a tight hug. Bryce held onto Ohm a little tighter and longer than he had with Jon and Luke, but that was because Ohm was his best friend, and he was just so happy to see him in person.

“Bryce, great to see you,” Ohm said after they’d pulled apart.

“You too, Ohm. Come on inside, Luke and Jon are here already.” Bryce turned around, but stopped when he felt Ohm grab his hand.

“Come on Brycey, you the whole ‘Ohm’ stuff is just for the channel. Just call me Ryan while I’m here, ok?” Bryce smiled and nodded.

“Jon! Luke! Ryan’s here!” Bryce called. The two came running to the door and crushed Ryan into a hug.

“Guys, kinda can’t breathe here,” Ryan said, half-joking and half-serious. They both let go and started laughing. “It’s so good to finally meet you guys in person.”

“Aw, you too Ryan,” Luke said.

“So, now that everyone’s here,” Bryce began. The others looked at him curiously. “The issue as to where everyone’s going to sleep can be addressed. There’s the guest room down the hall, my couch, and a blow-up mattress that’ll fit in the living room, so-”

“Dibs on the guest room!” Luke and Jon yelled in unison, racing each other down the hall. Bryce and Ryan watched after them, then started laughing.

“I’ll take the couch. I really don’t mind,” Ryan said.

“Fair enough. Guess whoever loses the guest room gets the mattress. Come on, let’s get you set up.”

After a few minutes of unpacking (and ignoring all the arguing from down the hall) Bryce and Ryan sat down on the couch and started talking.

“I still can’t believe you’re already at 300k,” Ryan remarked.

“I know. And getting the silver play button is amazing. I hung it up in my room.”

“Cool. I’m really happy for you, Bryce.”

“Thanks,” Bryce said shyly. “How’s 1 million going?”

“Almost at 1.1 actually! I’m really happy for the success, but…” Ryan suddenly trailed off, looking down solemnly.

“But what?” Bryce asked, his voice laced with concern. He placed a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, encouraging him to go on.

“I just… Do you ever wonder if we’re trying too hard? I mean, some people barely try and they have millions of followers. I just, get worried sometimes. Or what if we aren’t even trying hard enough, you know?”

Bryce thought for a few seconds and was about to speak when an angry Delirious marched into the living room.

“I get the couch,” he demanded. He was literally pouting, like a two-year-old.

“Taken, buddy,” Ryan said, smirking.

Jon groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Your mattress better not have any leaks,” he grumbled.

Bryce was smirking too. “No promises.” He and Ryan laughed.

“Aw come on!” Jon yelled in frustration. Then he grinned slyly. “Bryce, any chance I could sleep in your bed with you?” Jon asked, punctuating the end of his question with a wink. Bryce rolled his eyes and tried (but failed) to not blush. Ryan looked away uncomfortably.

“Uh, yeah… no. Um, is there anything you guys wanna do?” Bryce asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, let’s play some fucking video games,” Luke said, suddenly walking in. “You’ve got some good stuff, right Bryce?”

“Well gee, I don’t know, I only play games with you almost every day,” Bryce said sarcastically, earning a laugh from Ryan. “Let me see what I have.”

\-----

“BRYCE YOU ASSHOLE!” Jon shouted while Bryce giggled with glee. “How the fuck are you so good at every god damn video game ever?” he asked, irritated.

“Dunno man, you just suck at this, and I’m just naturally awesome,” Bryce gloated, receiving a playful swat from Jon.

“Uh, guys? Not that I’m not having fun, but how long have we been playing?” Luke asked, glancing down at his watch.

Ryan looked out the window. “Holy shit it’s fucking dark outside,” he remarked.

Bryce checked his phone. “We’ve only been playing for a couple hours. It’s 7 o’clock.”

“It’s still dark as shit,” Ryan commented. “I’m starving. Can we order pizza or something?”

“Sure,” Bryce said. “We’re getting cheese.”

“Aw come on, I want pepperoni man,” Jon complained.

“Well, I want cheese, so that’s what we’re getting,” Bryce said firmly, but still grinning.

“Dang, Brycey’s being dominant for once,” Ryan teased.

“Could you guys go for, like five minutes without being gay? It’s not like we’re playing video games right now,” Bryce said. “Actually, go five minutes without talking, I need to be able to order our food.”

“Five minutes without talking? Who do you think we are?” Luke said, earning a laugh from the other guys. “Just go to another room to make the call.”

“You’re so thoughtful,” Bryce said sarcastically, but nevertheless left the room. As he ordered the pizza, he could still hear the guys yelling from two rooms away.

Still, he was happy they were here. “So far, so good.”

\-----

It was a few hours later. The guys had dinner, played more games, had a couple discussions, and everyone was getting ready for bed.

“See you tomorrow morning, fuckers. I’m tired as shit,” Luke said as he went to the guest room.

“G’night!” Bryce said, busy helping Jon blow up the mattress. Ohm was in the bathroom, changing, so that left Bryce and Jon alone in the living room.

“Bryce? You sure I still can’t sleep with you?” Jon teased. Bryce rolled his eyes and acted like the electric air pump was too loud for him to hear. “Brycey? Hello?” Jon nagged.

Bryce switched off the pump. “Looks inflated enough,” he said sharply. He stood up and began walking away. “And don’t call me Brycey,” he muttered over his shoulder.

“Whatever you say, Brycey,” Jon chirped. Bryce clenched his fists again and walked stiffly to his room.

After getting ready, Bryce laid in bed with his kittens, staring at the ceiling.

“You know, Ellie,” he said to the cat he was currently petting. “Today was actually a pretty good day. I can’t wait for the rest of the week.”

And with that, Bryce fell asleep.


	2. Day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 of the guys' stay. Seems pretty regular, till the end ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be switching between perspectives in this fic, sometimes multiple times in a chapter. Anyway, this one is from Ryan's perspective.

Ryan awoke slightly groggy and disoriented. He sat up and took in his surroundings, at first wondering why he’d been sleeping on a couch. ‘Oh right, I’m at Bryce’s house,’ he thought to himself.

Bryce. Ryan didn’t think getting to meet him in person would be so huge for him, but it was. The entire plane ride over, all he could think about was what it’d be like to finally see his best friend in person. To be able to hug him, to be able to talk to him without a microphone, to be able to kis-

‘Woah, Ryan calm down, buddy. You’re just friends.’ Ryan had these thoughts from time to time, but he always ignored them. When you realize you’re pansexual, you often have these kinds of thoughts about people you’re close to. That’s all.

Ryan yawned and stretched his arms. He was right by a window and was suddenly blinded by the amount of sunlight pouring in. ‘Gosh, how late in the day is it?’ he thought. ‘Might as well get up and find out.’

As Ryan stood up, still somewhat groggy, he was unaware of the mattress right by his feet. Being the clumsy, bumbling idiot that he was, he tripped-and landed right on top of a still sleeping Jonathan.

“Ah!” Well, not sleeping anymore. The impact of Ryan falling on the bed had caused the mattress to bounce, and a second later, both men were lying on the floor. Ryan was unmoving, not quite sure what to do, Jon was in shock, and Bryce and Luke (who’d come into the living room when they heard the crashes) were laughing their asses off. Ryan blushed and got off of Jon hurriedly, while Jon still laid on the ground, trying to even his breathing.

“Jeez Ryan, there are more subtle ways to try and get in someone’s bed you know,” Luke teased, earning a laugh from Bryce.

“No sex in my house!” Bryce ordered jokingly.

“That’s disappointing, Brycey,” Ryan said, trying to distract from the fact that he was still blushing madly. He walked over to Bryce and put an arm around him. “I was hoping you and I could-”

“Thaaaaaat’s enough, Ryan,” Bryce said, removing Ryan’s arm awkwardly.

“Aw, Brycey, you’re cute when you blush,” Ryan teased. Bryce scowled and hid his face in his hands.

“I used that line on him yesterday,” Jon said, finally recovering after his mini heart attack. “And I thought you didn’t like being called Brycey.”

“Can both of y’all stop flirting with Bryce please?” Luke said, wrapping a protective arm around the blushing boy’s waist. Jon just nodded absentmindedly and Ryan mumbled a “whatever.” “Anyway, now that both of you lazy asses are up, it’s almost time for breakfast, so get up and get in the kitchen and help us with the waffles.” At the mention of food, Jon practically ran to the kitchen, followed by Luke.

“Come on, Ryan. You want waffles or not?” Bryce said, grabbing the brunette’s wrist and practically pulling him into the kitchen.

‘Don’t really seem to have a choice,’ Ryan thought. ‘You know what though? I don’t mind.’

\-----

After the group was done cooking (more like Bryce was cooking, since the others sucked at it), eating breakfast, and they (Bryce) had cleaned up, everyone was planning what they’d do that day.

“I just kinda want to hang here some more. Not ready to go outside yet,” Jon confessed.

“You never go outside,” Luke argued.

“Yeah, cuz I don’t like it. Face to face interaction with strangers scares me,” Jon said, jutting his lip out like a baby. Everyone else laughed

“Well, it’s Friday, so I say we go out clubbing tonight,” Ryan suggested.

“Sounds fun,” Luke agreed.

“I’m in,” Bryce said.

“Fine!” Delirious exclaimed when the others looked at him questioningly.

“Cool! I know this good place not too far downtown, we can totally hit there,” Bryce said eagerly.

“You guys better not get wasted. I ain’t taking care of you tomorrow if you wake up with a massive hangover,” Luke said defiantly. The others laughed.

“You probably would,” Jon said, knowing his best friend all too well. Luke rolled his eyes and pretended he hadn’t heard.

\-----

*12 hours later*

It was about 9:45 pm, and the guys were finally ready to leave.

“Jon, we were supposed to be leaving at 9:30, what the hell took so long?” Luke said, annoyed.

“You can’t rush perfection, man,” Jon insisted. Ryan and Bryce stood to the side, trying not to laugh.

“Whatever. Let’s just go, all right?” Luke said, already seeming tired.

“Yes! Let’s go already! I’m ready to get wasted!” Bryce shouted, causing everyone to laugh.

‘Time to have a little more fun,’ Ryan thought. Oh, little did he know.

\-----

Ryan was only on his second beer; he was trying to keep it light. ‘No use having a hangover tomorrow.’ Luke was barely drinking as well. Jon and Bryce, however, were going at it like animals. Ryan figured that kind of behavior would come from Jon, but Bryce? He honestly expected the guy to stick to a couple of margaritas, bur no, the blonde did several rounds of shots and had more than a few other bottles of random liquors.

‘Maybe I’ll get to take care of him tomorrow,’ Ryan thought. ‘I mean, like not cuz I want to, just because he’s my friend and I’ll probably… Look at yourself, Ryan. You’re mentally defending your gay thoughts.’ Ryan was tempted to smack his own forehead to get his brain to shut up.

“Yo, Ryan!” Luke called as he walked over. “How you doin’ man?”

“Not drunk yet. And not really trying,” Ryan admitted. Luke nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, probably a good idea. Someone needs to be able to take care of those two tomorrow.” He gestured towards Bryce and Jon, who were currently drinking and laughing like maniacs.

“They are going to regret this tomorrow,” Ryan said, shaking his head.

Luke laughed. “Our poor little babies,” he crowed. They both laughed. Ryan really liked being able to hang out with people he considered to be his closest friends. It seemed almost unreal, yet here he was.

“I’m gonna go check on them,” Luke announced. Ryan just nodded then went back into his own thoughts.

They were mostly about Bryce. He wasn’t sure, but Ryan thought he felt some kind of connection. He knew that him and Bryce were best friends, but sometimes, he wanted them to be more. Sure, that may be weird, considering this was the first time Ryan technically met Bryce, but still, he knew some sort of spark was there. Whether or not Bryce felt it too was what worried him sometimes.

But still. The two could be best friends if Bryce didn’t feel the same way; Ryan wasn’t opposed to that. He loved Bryce, mostly platonic, but also a little bit…

“Hey Ry!” Ryan was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt an arm around his shoulders. Bryce was practically hanging off him, clutching a bottle of Heineken and grinning.

“Hey Bryce. Having fun?” he asked jokingly. Bryce giggled and nodded furiously.

“Yep. I’m drunk as shit right now, but I’m having a great time.” Ryan smiled. Bryce was adorable, even when he was wasted.

“You know, Ryan, I’ve really missed you,” Bryce confessed.

Ryan giggled (yes giggled, that’s how cute Bryce was). “Oh, come on. This is the first time you met me. You couldn’t miss me before,” Ryan argued playfully.

“Well, I guess I didn’t know how much I missed you until I finally met you,” Bryce said, looking at Ryan with eyes full of wonder and happiness and-love?

‘He’s drunk, Ryan. He’s just being ridiculous because he’s drunk. He doesn’t really-’ Ryan wanted Bryce to love him, and he was sure that Bryce did love, him, but not like that. ‘Not like that,’ Ryan reminded himself. ‘Bryce is straight. He doesn’t… actually… love you that way.’

“Hey, guys.” Ryan’s thoughts were once again interrupted by Luke. “Jon’s throwing up in the bathroom, I think it’s time we head home.” Ryan nodded.

“Aw, we can’t stay longer?” Bryce pouted. Ryan rolled his eyes and gently took the beer bottle out of Bryce’s hand (and Bryce didn’t really seem to notice).

“You’ve had plenty to drink, believe me,” Ryan said. “Luke is right, we should go.”

\-----

Once they got in Bryce’s house (after struggling to get the door open, since Bryce had forgotten where his keys were) Luke laid Jon down on the couch, and Ryan brought Bryce to his bedroom. Bryce kept mumbling nonsense and clinging onto Ryan, which Ryan found adorable, but annoying when he was trying to get the younger to lay down.

“Ryan, I’m not tired.” Bryce pouted.

“Stop behaving like a two-year-old. You’re going to end up with a hangover tomorrow, so at least let me take care of you for now,” Ryan said sternly.

Bryce giggled. “Oh, do whatever you want, Ryan,” he said seductively, giving Ryan an over-exaggerated wink. Who knew Bryce was super flirty when he was drunk?

“Here, j-just put on your pajamas,” Ryan stammered, trying to cover up the blush in his cheeks.

“How bout you do it for me, Ryan?” Bryce suggested flirtatiously. ‘God damn Bryce can be sexy when he’s being dominant,’ Ryan thought.

“Bryce,” Ryan said, sounding less confident than before.

“What, you don’t want to undress me?” Bryce giggled. Ryan felt his entire face go red. He tossed Bryce the sweatshirt and sweatpants.

“Here. Just, go to bed, all right?” God, how much he wanted to escape this situation.

“Whatever you say,” Bryce said, shrugging. “But, can you stay in here a little longer?” He was practically begging.

“Fine Bryce,” Ryan said, exasperated. He looked away while Bryce changed, even though he figured Bryce wouldn’t mind (or notice).

“Ryan? Can I ask you a favor?” Bryce said in a timid voice. Ryan turned around and saw Bryce with little puppy dog eyes.

“What is it, Bryce?” He wasn’t annoyed or exasperated, he was just tired, even though he was going to sleep on a couch.

“Will you cuddle with me?” Bryce asked incredibly innocently, despite him being super flirty about thirty seconds ago.

“S-sure Bryce.” Ryan tried to act like it was nothing, but his heart was pounding. ‘It’s okay, it’s platonic. It’s all right, this is just platonic.’ Ryan told himself. He laid down slowly, and Bryce immediately wrapped his arms around Ryan’s waist and snuggled his face into Ryan’s chest.

“Thanks, Ry,” Bryce said, his voice slightly muffled. Ryan would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying this a little bit. He wrapped an arm around Bryce’s shoulders and pulled him in closer.

“Ryan?” Bryce asked again.

“Yeah Bryce?”

“Can I kiss you?”

The question came out of almost nowhere, and Ryan was forcing himself to not freak out. This would not end up well whether he said yes or no.

“Bryce, you’re drunk,” Ryan reminded him.

“I don’t care,” Bryce responded. Then, after a few seconds, “Can I?”

“Bryce…”

“Please?” Ryan looked down at Bryce, who was asking him without saying a word; his eyes were pleading for Ryan to say yes.

Ryan cupped Bryce’s face in his hands and pressed their mouths together gently. Bryce wrapped his arms around Ryan’s neck and deepened the kiss. Ryan opened his mouth and Bryce took the opportunity to push his tongue in. Ryan tasted multiple flavors of alcohol, but also a taste of something sweet like vanilla. Ryan began running his fingers through Bryce’s hair while Bryce pulled the older man impossibly closer.

After a few more seconds of heated kissing, they pulled apart gasping for air. Their foreheads were pressed together, and they were both looking away and smiling awkwardly.

“Ryan,” Bryce whispered, pressing soft kisses to the other’s jaw. Ryan groaned with pleasure. “Ryan, I love you,” Bryce murmured, beginning to kiss down Ryan’s neck.

“I-I love you too,” Ryan blurted out, meaning the words with all his heart.

Suddenly, he realized what had just happened. Ryan’s breath hitched, and not just because of the kissing. ‘Did he just say…He said it. I said it, and he said it too.’

_‘I love him. I love him!’_

_‘He loves me. He loves me.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep! The gay finally comes out! (pun not intended)


	3. Day 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I switch POV multiple times in this chapter. I'll say who it is at the beginning of each one, just want to let you know so any confusion can be avoided

The first thing Bryce noticed when he woke up was that there was grayish brown fur in his face, which he deduced was Ellie. The second thing he noticed was that he had an awful headache, which he deduced was a hangover, from the vague familiarity of it. The third thing he noticed was that he was naked. The fourth thing he noticed was there was someone next to him, still sleeping. He realized it was Ryan.

Oh shit.

Bryce practically bolted up. What the hell happened last night? Bryce rubbed his eyes as he tried to remember.

‘I remember going to that bar, I remember getting drunk, I remember coming home.’ As Bryce thought harder, the memories started coming back more clearly.

Fuck.

‘Did… did I hook up with my best friend?’ Just the thought of it freaked Bryce out. ‘No! There’s no way! Sure, we were both probably drunk, but really?’ Something Bryce was always sure of was his heterosexuality. Everyone seemed to be gay these days, but Bryce knew he was straight. 100%. He didn’t have a problem with people being gay, just, he wasn’t.

‘Right?’

Bryce sighed. He really didn’t want to have to face Ryan waking up, so he quickly got dressed ad headed into the kitchen.

Jon and Luke were already seated there, talking in hushed voices. They both glanced up when Bryce walked in, and their conversation halted. Jon looked like death, and Luke looked concerned.

“Morning guys,” Bryce said calmly, opening the pantry to get the cereal box.

“Morning Bryce,” the other two said in unison. There was complete silence except for clinking as Bryce poured Cheerios into the bowl.

Jon was the first to break the silence. “So… have fun last night?” he snickered.

Bryce acted innocent. “Last night was great, thanks for asking.” He opened the fridge to grab the milk carton.

“You know, I got super drunk and ended up almost passing out, yet I still remember how fucking loud you two were.” Jon wasn’t even trying to keep himself from giggling.

“Glad that made an impression on you,” Bryce said flatly, gripping the carton of milk as he poured. “Because you’re not hearing any more of it.”

“Aw, why not?” Jon teased. Bryce just gave him a look that clearly said, ‘You know why.’

“I didn’t know you topped either,” Jon said cheekily.

Bryce flushed red. “How did you even…”

“Jon, leave him alone,” Luke stated firmly. Jon just rolled his eyes and laid his head back on the table.

“In all fairness, I don’t remember too much. Sorry if we kept you up.” Bryce put the carton back in the fridge.

“You guys were actually done pretty quickly,” Luke admitted. “So, are the two of you going to be… you know…” He trailed off, the silence finishing the question for him.

Bryce closed the pantry as he put the cereal box away. “No, we’re not.”

“You sure?” Jon said, lifting his head off the table for a few seconds, then ultimately collapsing again.

“Yeah, I’m sure. It was one hook-up, guys. That doesn’t mean we’re together.” Bryce started making his coffee. Anything to keep him from having to look at Luke and Jon. He knew they were probably concerned, but he also knew that if he had to look them in the eyes, he wouldn’t be as calm as he was now.

“Oh, come on. How many hook-ups have you had that-”

“More than you’d expect,” Bryce interrupted as the coffee machine began with a start. Bryce tried to ignore the memories that kept popping up. ‘They were one-night stands, they were one-time hook-ups.’

“Wow, Bryce is a little slut, huh?” Jon said cheekily, earning him a slap on the back of the head from Luke.

Bryce stiffened. “I’m not a slut,” he said sharply.

“Bryce…” Luke said, suddenly worried. “Are you okay?”

The question took him by surprise. ‘Am I okay? Of course I’m okay. All that happened was I hooked up with someone. True, that someone was my best friend, but… still. It was a one-time thing. It didn’t have to mean anything, and it doesn’t… Right?’

But all Bryce said was “Yeah.”

“I mean, you’re acting like it’s not important, but I’d think it’s a little bit of a big deal. I mean, you hooked up with your best friend-”

“Which I know you and Jon know plenty about,” Bryce retorted, putting sugar into is cup of coffee. He looked over to see Jon burying his head in his hands out of embarrassment and Luke just rolling his eyes.

“Good that you brought that up actually,” Luke said. “Prime example. We were drunk, we hooked up, and it was nothing more than that. We decided to stay best friends.”

“Yeah, my sister did break up with you because of that though,” Jon said, chuckling. “She thought you were gay for me.”

“Yeah,” Luke said, laughing as well. “The point is, Bryce, that these scenarios are different. Jon and I were already close and had met each other beforehand. You and Ryan… I mean, I’m sure it’s different, but, was that it for you? Just a hook up?”

Bryce sighed, irritated. “I’m not gay, Luke.”

“I hear you, Bryce. but I mean…”

“What? You mean what? Like you said, it was just a hook up, and that’s it.” Bryce’s temper was growing shorter and he was growing angrier by the second. He didn’t even know why he was so defensive. “Sorry to disappoint, but it meant nothing. I don’t love Ryan, and that’s the end of it, all right?”

Bryce stood up angrily. He stormed over to the sink to put his empty bowl in, but tripped over Taquito, who was meowing for food. The ceramic bowl fell crashing to the ground.

“Stupid fucking cats!” Bryce yelled angrily. “I’ll feed you in a second, goddamn. I just need to clean up this stupid bowl, argh!” Luke and Jon were both looking at Bryce with fear and worry. He never got angry like this, ever.

None of them noticed the footsteps running up the stairs, or the bedroom door slamming.

\-----

Ryan was trying so hard not to cry. The words kept echoing around in his brain as he struggled to hold back his tears.

“It meant nothing.” “Just a hookup.” “I don’t love Ryan.” “That’s the end of it.” “It meant nothing… nothing…”

Fuck, there were tears running down his face.

At least he was good at being silent while crying. If any of the guys heard him…

God, why did he care about Bryce so much? Well, he knew why, but still. He’d been with plenty of people before. He’d hooked up with plenty of people before. And a lot of the time, they fell in love with him. But Ryan had never been in love. He’d break it off with those people once he told them that he just didn’t care for them, that they were nothing more than a hook up.

And now that situation had just happened to him.

Go figure.

Although Ryan was all right with staying in this room for the rest of the day (or his life) to avoid confronting the guys, he knew he’d have to leave at some point. He composed himself, wiped away his tears, and prepared to leave the room. However, when he put his hand on the doorknob, he heard the floorboards creaking in the hall. He opened the door a crack, and saw it was Bryce. Bryce then went into the bathroom and shut the door. The shower turned on, and Ryan breathed a small sigh of relief. At least he could procrastinate having to face Bryce.

He checked himself in the mirror to make sure he didn’t look like he was crying, straightened out his clothes (since they had been crumpled on the floor from last night) and finally left the room. He entered the kitchen and acted like Jon and Luke were invisible.

“Morning dude,” Luke said, and Ryan nodded, acknowledging him. He popped a bagel in the toaster and began brewing a cup of coffee.

“How was your night?” Jon asked. He still seemed weary from last night.

“Well, I stayed pretty sober, so I probably had a better time than you did,” Ryan retorted smugly. Jon was momentarily stunned at Ryan’s sassiness, but just groaned and laid his head back on the table.

“You, uh, just missed Bryce,” Luke said, sipping at his coffee while Ryan added cream to his own mug.

“Yeah, kinda figured when I heard the shower running.”

“He, uh, was kind of, um…” Luke trailed off not sure what to say.

“I overheard,” Ryan said flatly. The bagel in the toaster popped up.

“You aren’t… bothered, or anything, right?” Luke asked nervously.

“Why would I be bothered by it?” Ryan asked. “Do we have any butter?”

“Second shelf on the door,” Jon said weakly, his voice still muffled since he didn’t lift his head from the table.

“Thanks Jon.” Ryan was still refusing to acknowledge Luke directly.

“I mean, I really thought that you liked each other,” Luke continued. Ryan bit his lip and focused on spreading the butter on his bagel. “Like, not that it was obvious or anything, but…”

“But what?” Ryan didn’t mean to accidentally stab a second hole through the bagel, he just didn’t notice how much force he was using. He totally wasn’t upset in any way.

“I mean, you clearly like Bryce. You weren’t drunk, right?” Ryan bit down on his lip even harder, any more and it would be bleeding. “I just thought, you two would end up, realizing you liked each other, I guess. You two seem good together.” Blood. 

Ryan took his half-buttered bagel and threw it in the garbage. “I think I’ve lost my appetite,” he said flatly, his words having a slight venom to them. Both men seated at the table flinched.

Ryan went to the living room and sat on the couch, and decided to scroll mindlessly through multiple forms of social media on his phone. He ignored the metallic taste of the blood in his mouth. He ignored the water in the shower turning off. He ignored Bryce coming down stairs. He just continued scrolling, and Bryce continued walking.

\-----

(Luke’s POV)

The entire day, both Bryce and Ryan acted as if the other were non-existent. Jon and Luke were both worried and uncomfortable with the two men basically acting like children. No one was going to say anything, even though they all wanted to address the elephant in the room, none of them just had the guts.

Finally, at dinner, Jon (of course) broke the uncomfortable silence. He slammed his fists on the table hard, causing some of the silverware to jump slightly. The other guys looked at him curiously. Luke was mostly relieved that someone was finally going to say something.

Jon stared right at Ryan and Bryce. “You two need to talk.”

“About what?” they asked in unison. They both flushed and continued picking at their salads.

“You know damn well what you need to talk about, and you can either talk in private or Luke and I will sit here and make sure you talk about it,” Jon threatened. Luke had to shove a forkful of food into his mouth to keep himself from grinning. Jon was actually pretty good at being threatening when he needed to.

“Fine,” Ryan said grudgingly. Bryce looked away but still nodded in agreement.

“So can you two handle this, or do Jon and I need to be here while you talk this out?” Luke said, crossing his arms in defiance.

“We’re not children,” Bryce murmured, while Ryan just gave the two a death glare.

“Okay, we get it,” Jon said, holding his hands up in surrender. He and Luke left the room silently, but stood right outside the door. They opened it just a crack to observe the conversation (it totally wasn’t eavesdropping…).

“Look, Bryce, I’m sorry,” Ryan started. “I didn’t want to make things awkward, this was supposed to be a fun week, and…yeah I totally made this awkward, didn’t I? I fucked up. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Ryan,” Bryce said, refusing to make eye contact. “For the record…you are okay with this, right?”

The question made Ryan visibly uncomfortable. “Wh-what do you mean by that?”

“I mean…this doesn’t mean anything to you, does it? It was just a hook-up, right?” Jon and Luke held their breath. They could tell this clearly meant something, but they knew neither Ryan or Bryce would say it.

“Right. Just a hook-up. It meant nothing,” Ryan said finally.

Jon turned to face Luke and mouthed ‘Liar.’ he nodded in silent agreement.

“Like, for real. I’m not gay or anything,” Bryce said defensively. Luke facepalmed. Why was he always so defensive of this?

“Yeah, I get it.” Ryan looked down at nothing.

“Are…are you?” Bryce asked nervously.

“Am I what?”

“Gay?”

Ryan bit his scabbed lip and didn’t answer immediately. “I said I get it Bryce,” he said finally, his tone having a slightly annoyed edge to it.

Bryce blushed and frowned. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have,” Ryan said coldly.

The two sat in silence for a few more minutes. Luke and Jon opened the door and strolled in like they hadn’t heard anything.

“Are you two good now?” Jon asked innocently.

“Yeah,” Ryan said. “We’re good.”

But from the way he crossed his arms and looked at the floor and the way Bryce kept fidgeting in his seat uncomfortably, it was obvious that they were anything but good.


	4. Day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late (and so long) but, here you go! Chapter 4!

It’s not that Bryce didn’t sleep last night, it’s just…okay, Bryce barely slept at all. You couldn’t blame him though, after what’d happened, all he could do was lay in bed, thinking about… it.

‘I’m not gay. I know that. But what about Ryan? I mean, he seemed offended, so…was I pushing too much by asking? We were both drunk, so it could have meant nothing, or…maybe he does like me? Drunk words are sober thoughts, right? Then again, what did I do? I just, didn’t do anything. Well, I guess I kind of did. I topped, I remember that. So, I was definitely doing something then. “Drunk words are sober thoughts.” Did I… did I kind of want to? No, there’s no way.’

Bryce sighed. These thoughts just wouldn’t leave him alone. ‘I liked it. I know I liked it. But it’s sex, everyone likes sex, no matter who it’s with. I guess, since he’s my best friend, that’s why I’m so conflicted. I liked hooking up, I just don’t like Ryan that way. That’s all.’ Bryce wasn’t completely satisfied with his solution, but it was enough. He only slept for several periods at a time, never more than an hour, but he was hoping to get enough sleep so he could function the next day.

-

For once, Ryan was a light sleeper. He got a decent amount of sleep, about five hours and thirty-five minutes (not that he was counting). He woke up around 7:00, but instead of actually getting up, he lay on the couch thinking for another half hour.

‘I like him. But he’s straight. I want to date him. But he’s straight. And he’s my best friend. And even though I was okay with being friends before, that’s not what I want anymore. I want him to like me how I like him, but I know he won’t. What the hell am I supposed to do?’

“Could you quit talking to yourself,” Jon muttered sleepily. Ryan was startled, he hadn’t realized that he had been talking out loud.

“Sorry dude,” Ryan apologized.

“You know, man, if you’re this worried about it, just talk to him.”

“Easier said than done. That’s not how one-night stands usually work. You hook up and then you leave. That way you can avoid the awkwardness. You don’t talk to the other person about what happened. That’s not-”

“Ryan,” Jon sighed. “I know you like him. You know you like him. The only person who doesn’t know it is Bryce, and that’s only because-”

“-He’s straight,” Ryan finished for him.

“Are you sure? Because people don’t stay up late at night thinking about someone they hooked up with if their straight.” Ryan looked at him curiously. “I got up to use the bathroom last night, and I passed by Bryce’s room. He was still up, and I could tell by his expression, he was thinking. And he was thinking about you, I know it.”

“He’s just-he doesn’t-he’s not-”

“-As heterosexual as you think,” Jon finished. “Look, Ry, I know what it’s like to fall in love with someone, even if you want to deny it. That’s love, man. He’ll come around.”

“And when he doesn’t?”

Jon smiled. “He will, Ryan. Trust me.”

\-----

Bryce finally got out of bed when he the light from his window was right in his face. It’s like it was saying, ‘Get up, idiot. You have things to do.’ It was pointless trying to get sleep anyway.

He dragged himself out of bed, not even bothering to change out of his pajamas, and went where his heart (okay, stomach) led him. To the kitchen.

And, of course, Ryan was in there brewing a cup of coffee. Bryce knew he was going to have to stop acting like things were weird (even though they kind of still were) and pretend that things were the way they used to be. So he did.

“Morning Ry,” he said cheerfully. Ryan looked up, startled, but resumed with making his coffee.

“Morning Bryce,” he said after a few seconds. “Sleeping in late?” he asked.

Bryce bit his tongue to keep from telling him the truth. “Yeah. Usually I’m a morning person, not today I guess. Sometimes, there’s just no such thing as enough sleep.” he yawned, sort of to prove his point, but also because he felt himself getting tired again.

Ryan laughed. “I know what you mean. Some days I feel like I could just sleep the day away. Of course, Buddy always interrupts me and forces me to get up anyway. Pets, am I right?” Bryce smiled. “Speaking of which, your cats were bugging me, so I fed ‘em.”

“Aw, thanks Ryan,” Bryce said gratefully.

Jon walked into the room, rubbing his eyes. He looked exhausted, and he still had bedhead, but he seemed more awake than Bryce felt. He grinned when his eyes fell upon Bryce and Ryan talking to each other casually.

“Glad you two lovers are up,” Jon teased. Bryce just rolled his eyes and went back to buttering his bagel (he never bothered to toast them). Ryan on the other hand, flushed and muttered “shut up, Jon,” before bringing his attention back to the pouring milk into his cereal bowl.

Bryce eyed Ryan’s action curiously. “Ryan, you just gonna have a bowl of milk for breakfast? What are you, a cat?” he teased.

Ryan laughed. “I’m going to add cereal too, obviously. And milk is bad for cats; you of all people should know that, Mr. Crazy Cat Lady.”

This time it was Bryce who laughed. “They belong to my family, they’re not just mine. And who-”

“-the fuck adds milk before cereal?” Jon asked in disbelief. Both Ryan and Bryce giggled. “I’m being serious, that’s actually disgusting.”

“Deal with it, Jonny,” Ryan said, putting a hand on his hip like a sassy teenage girl. That got everyone full on laughing. Bryce smiled, this was what he wanted when he asked the guys to come over. He wanted them to hang out like friends, he wanted them to be happy and comfortable and closer to each other.

Luke walked into the room. “What are y’all laughing about?”

“Nothin’ dude,” Jon said, trying to control his giggling.

“Ryan’s just a crazy person,” Bryce joked, earning a little punch on the arm.

“Ohm, what did you do now?” Luke said, raising a questioning eyebrow.

Ryan’s smiled faltered. “It’s Ryan. Not Ohm,” he said. Bryce noticed his hand was clenched in a fist. Ryan seemed to notice Bryce’s stare and relaxed his hand.

“Sorry, dude,” Luke apologized.

“It’s all right, man. But for real, don’t. I like my YouTube life separated from my personal life.” Bryce knew he was trying to not make a big deal, but he could tell Ryan was kind of upset.

The guys nodded. “Understood,” Jon said. Then he grinned mischievously. “Now let’s address why the hell you add your milk before your cereal.”

“You do what?” Luke said, emitting an exaggerated gasp. “Dang, Ryan, you really are crazy. You probably wet your toothbrush before adding toothpaste too.”

“Um, everyone does that,” Bryce said.

“No one does that! It’s not natural!” Luke argued playfully.

“Sorry man, but you’re alone on this one,” Jon said, stepping over to Bryce and Ryan as if picking a side in battle.

“You guys are all fucking freaks.”

“True, but we’re awesome freaks!” Ryan said cheerfully, wrapping one arm around Bryce’s shoulders and the other around Jon’s. Bryce blushed a little at the contact, but smiled and hugged Ryan’s waist.

“Yeah we are!” Jon hollered in agreement, raising his fist in the air.

‘We’re all freaks together,’ Bryce thought, but refused to say anything aloud. He also didn’t move his arm from around Ryan’s waist, though he wasn’t quite sure why.

\-----

“You’re all a bunch of FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!!” Ryan yelled. Yep, more video games, this time it was gang beasts. The other guys had joined forces to throw Ryan over the tracks. No one helped him up, so he was hit by the train. “You guys are all jerks, you know that?”

“You’re just easy to gang up on,” Bryce said, shrugging. “Ow, Jon, cut that out!”

“No way! Luke, help me beat up this kitty!”

“No, you should be nice to the kitty. Be nice to the!-you guys are such dicks.” Bryce scowled and put down his controller.

“What were you saying about ganging up on people Bryce?” Ryan said cheekily.

“Shut up, man,” Bryce said, lightly punching Ryan on the arm.

Ryan smiled and blushed slightly at the contact, but turned away, hoping Bryce wouldn’t notice. God damn why was he so cute and irresistible? ‘It’s probably his eyes. Sure, it’s cliché, but I swear you could drown in them. Yeah, that is super cliché-why are you still having a mental conversation with yourself, Ry? Moron.’ Ryan smacked his forehead lightly.

Bryce noticed the action. “You okay Ryan?” he asked, ignoring Jon and Luke’s shouting.

“Yeah, I’m good. Headache,” he lied.

“Oh. Want me to get you some Advil or something?”

“No!” Bryce flinched at Ryan’s sudden response. “I mean, that’s okay. You don’t have to, it’s not that bad.”

“Okay.” Bryce shrugged and resumed watching the other guys battle each other.

“No! Luke please!” Jon shouted, desperately smashing buttons trying to get his character to wake up.

“Bye bye Jon,” Luke said, dropping the character over the side.

“Nooooooo!” Jon yelled as his character was hit by the train. Everyone started laughing while Jon gripped his controller and fell backwards dramatically.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m having a great time,” Luke said. Jon swatted his arm.

“It’s because you’ve won the last five rounds in a row you motherfucker!”

“Did I? Huh. Didn’t notice.”

“Shut up!” Jon hit Luke’s arm again.

“Aw, sorry dude. You know I love you,” Luke said, giving Jon a bone-crushing hug and refusing to let go.

“Get the fuck off me, man.” Jon laughed. “Bryce! Ryan! Help me! I’m being smothered!”

“You’re on your own dude,” Ryan said.

“Guys, stop fighting, or you get no ice cream,” Bryce jokingly threatened.

Luke released his hold on Jon, whose head hit the floor. “You have ice cream?” they asked excitedly in unison.

“Yeah, I can get it for you guys though. What do you want? There’s chocolate fudge, chocolate peanut butter, and vanilla.”

“Ew, who the hell likes vanilla?” Jon asked, giggling and rubbing the back of his head.

“I do,” Bryce and Ryan said in sync. They looked at each other for a moment and then looked away, blushing.

“Whatever. I’ll come help,” Jon said.

“Me too,” Luke added, standing up.

“I only really need one extra pair of hands, and Jon asked first…” Bryce admitted sheepishly.

“Whatever,” Luke said at the same time Jon shouted “Yes!” and pumped his fists in the air.

“Come on, Jon,” Bryce said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, that rhymed,” Jon giggled. Then his face became serious. “Actually, I wanna talk to you about something…” he muttered while exiting the room. Ryan could tell he was trying to be quiet, but he wasn’t doing a good job.

“I’ll be…right back,” Ryan said to Luke, slowly standing up.

“Don’t get caught,” Luke advised.

“What?”

“You’re going to eavesdrop on them, aren’t you?” Luke gave him a knowing look. “Don’t get caught.”

“Got it.”

Ryan crept towards the kitchen and stood just outside the door, out of view.

“…So yeah, chocolate fudge and chocolate peanut butter.”

“I can’t believe you hate vanilla.”

“I don’t hate it, it’s just so bland and boring. It’s like eating milk.”

“Thanks for that mental image.”

The two men laughed, and Ryan just sighed. Eavesdropping was stupid, he was probably being paranoid about this for nothing. He just assumed Jon was going to bring up what happened.

Ryan turned to leave, until he heard Jon’s voice again. “So…about Ryan.”

There was obvious hesitance in Bryce’s voice. “What about Ryan?”

“Why did you hook up with him if you don’t even like him?” Ryan bit his lip and mentally cursed Jon. Did he really have to start the conversation that way?

Ryan could practically hear Bryce stiffen. “We were drunk. It didn’t mean anything.”

“Fair enough. But you seemed awkward and different around him. If it meant nothing, then I am not seeing that. I’m definitely seeing something between you two.”

“Because when you hook up with someone you’ve known for a while, and you keep seeing them, things tend to get awkward and they end up breaking your heart,” Bryce blurted out.

A few seconds of silence passed. “What?” Jon finally asked.

“Nothing,” Bryce said hurriedly.

“Bryce…” Jon said in a knowing voice. “Who was it?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Bryce said stubbornly.

“Who broke your heart. And don’t even try to refuse telling me. I’m not leaving you alone until I hear the whole thing.”

Bryce sighed. “Her name was Jessica,” he started. “She and I weren’t great friends, but we knew each other enough. One time she said that she and a couple of her friends were going clubbing, and she asked me to come along. Well, one thing led to another, and…you know. But the thing that was different from one-night stands is that she and I were friends. Or, friendly enough, anyway. And she kept inviting me out, we kept…you know. And I started to realize that I liked her. And when I told her this, she said she was sorry, but she didn’t like me that way, she was only in it for the sex. And after that, I never saw her again.” Bryce sounded like he was near tears from remembering it.

“And you’re…afraid the same thing might happen with Ohm?” Jon asked. Ryan bit his lip at the sound of his YouTube name, but remained silent. “You’re afraid you’ll end up loving him, and he’ll break your heart?”

“No,” Bryce said insistently. “I know that I don’t like him, and I know that I won’t. What I’m worried about is that we’ll stop being friends. I like Ryan, a lot, but just, platonically. I don’t want something like this end our friendship.”

“You’re sure? You don’t like him any more than a friend?” Jon persisted.

“Yes. I don’t want to lose him like I lost Jessica, I want him to stay with me without anything being awkward.”

“You’re talking kind of funny. You sure this is only about not wanting to lose him as a friend?”

“Jonathon…” Bryce warned.

“Okay, okay.” There was another awkward moment of silence. “The ice cream is probably thawed out by now. You should go ask the guys what they want.”

Bryce laughed a little. “I’m not trusting you alone with dessert. You go ask them.”

“Aw, come on man. How about this…” Ryan didn’t hear the rest, he was already walking away, trying to hold in tears.

“Guessing it didn’t go so well, huh?” Luke said when Ryan re-entered the room.

“How could you tell?” he joked, wiping at his eyes. “I’m good, don’t worry.”

“Hey, man, it’s all right.” Luke gave him a reassuring hug. “I’m sorry.”

Ryan sniffed and laughed a little. “Not your fault, dude.”

“Not yours either,” Luke pointed out.

“Well, it’s just-” Ryan was cut off by an exasperated Bryce walking into the room.

“What flavors do you guys want?”

“Vanilla and Chocolate fudge,” Ryan said at the same time Luke said “All three!”

Bryce smiled. “Jon, make one with vanilla and fudge and another with all 3.”

“Come do it yourself, man. Your stupid scoop is too hard.”

“I better not find you eating any of it,” Bryce said, jogging back to the kitchen. “Jon!”

“It’s good, okay?”

“That’s unsanitary!”

“Whatever. Just come scoop your damn ice cream.”

“I will.”

After a few minutes of hassle over scooping ice cream (yes, only they would have to fight about this) the guys were settling on the couch getting ready to watch a movie.

“I vote Jaws,” Jon said, collapsing onto the couch next to Ryan.

“I second that,” said Luke, shoving Jon to the side to sit down.

“All right, sounds good. If that’ll prevent any arguments from happening,” Bryce agreed, going to go grab the DVD.

Ryan, being the cheeky little shit he was, spoke up. “I vote we watch a rom com.” Bryce just rolled his eyes and laughed, while Jon and Luke beat Ryan with pillows. “Kidding, kidding.”

“All right, let’s get this movie started,” Bryce said, squeezing in on the couch next to Ryan, who blushed and pretended to be incredibly focused on his bowl of ice cream.

\-----

The movie was fun. Jon, Luke, and Ryan all overreacted to the scary parts, whereas Bryce just laughed. The same guys cheered when the shark was finally killed, and Bryce just rolled his eyes.

“How were not at least scared at the dead body in the shipwreck?” Jon asked Bryce after the credits were done. “You must be inhuman or something.”

“I’ve seen this movie several times. It gets boring after a while.”

“How can a movie about the scariest motherfucking creature on the planet get boring?” Jon said, dramatically throwing his hands in the air.

“Well, I think I’m ready to hit the sack,” Luke said, stretching his arms and yawning. “Good night, bitches.”

“Night,” the others said absentmindedly.

“I’m gonna go get my mattress,” Jon announced, standing up from the couch. In doing so, he knocked over his bowl full of melted chocolate fudge and peanut butter ice cream.

“Jon!” Ryan and Bryce yelled at the same time. Ryan picked up the bowl, but it had already dumped the dark, sticky, chocolatey substance all over the white comforter that Ryan was supposed to be using as a blanket.

“Oops, sorry about that, man,” Jon apologized. “Just get a different comforter for tonight?”

“I don’t have any other comforters,” Bryce said, rubbing his temples.

“Then just throw it in the wash.” Jon shrugged his shoulders and left to go get the mattress.

“That’ll take, like forty-five minutes,” Bryce said apologetically.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” Ryan said

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Sure?”

“Yes.”

“All right then.” Bryce collected the blanket and headed downstairs to throw it in the wash. Ryan just sat down and checked out random stuff on his phone. He responded to a couple of tweets and gave a quick explanation as why he wasn’t uploading recently. Sure, saying that he had “a personal engagement” wasn’t exactly a great explanation, but it was something, and hopefully most of the viewers would respect his privacy.

“Hey.” Ryan was startled hearing Bryce’s voice, he hadn’t even heard him come up the stairs. “Just so you know, it should be done in half an hour. If you have trouble switching it to the dryer, you can ask me for help, all right?”

“All right. Thanks,” Ryan said gratefully. The gratitude wasn’t solely because Bryce was being helpful, it was also because of how normal things were seeming again.

“No problem.” The two just stayed there for a few seconds, looking at each other. Ryan bit his lip; he knew what was on his own mind, but what was Bryce thinking?

“I uh,” Bryce coughed. “I should probably go take a shower. Forgot to take one this morning.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you later-or tomorrow-or-whatever,” Ryan stuttered awkwardly, mentally kicking himself for being such a weird dork.

“See ya,” Bryce said, though he lingered a little bit before leaving. Ryan sighed and continued scrolling on his phone. The house was relatively quiet, minus the sound of the shower running and when Jon finally returned with his mattress (which Ryan ignored his requests for help with inflating it).

Ryan may have been in the living room, on his phone, but his mind was a million miles away. Bryce’s words from earlier still upset him, but he tried to ignore them. He knew was hopelessly in love with Bryce, but he just couldn’t decide the way Bryce felt. Everything had been much less complicated when he was just someone who existed through a screen.

He was finally brought out of his depressing thoughts when he heard a loud buzz from downstairs. He looked up and saw that Jon had already fallen asleep on his ¾ inflated mattress, and noticed the shower water had just turned off. The buzzing continued. ‘Washing Machine. Right.’ Ryan trudged downstairs to go switch the blanket into the dryer. He did it mindlessly, but then stopped when he realized he didn’t know what to set it to. He didn’t want to have to bother Bryce, but he didn’t want to sleep with a wet blanket, so he eventually just decided to ask for help.

He knocked gently on Bryce’s bedroom door, but didn’t hear any response, so he decided (against his better judgement) to just walk in.

And, at that time, Bryce happened to not be wearing a shirt.

Bryce whirled around, startled, and both men just froze uncomfortably. After the four most awkward seconds ever, Ryan suddenly unfroze and turned around, apologizing profusely.

“Sorrysorrysorry-” Ryan sputtered.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I just…” Bryce said, equally as flustered.

“Yeah…I’m sorry, I just-”

“No, yeah, you’re good.” A few more seconds of awkward silence passed, then Bryce spoke up again. “I’m good, you can turn around.” Ryan did, hesitantly, at first, but relaxed when he saw that Bryce had slipped on a dark grey shirt.

“Sorry about that,” Ryan apologized again. “I just, um…” he trailed off. Shit, why had he come up here again?

“It’s good, you’re good.” Bryce’s cheeks were still red, and Ryan could feel his own burning. “I mean…it’s not like you haven’t seen me with less on,” Bryce tried to joke. Ryan accidentally let a little giggle slip, but could still feel the tension hanging in the room.

“Um, yeah, about that…” Ryan took a deep breath, he finally remembered why he’d come in, but that didn’t seem so important right now. “Can we talk?” ‘We’ll have to at some point,’ he thought.

Bryce looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. “About what?”

Ryan gave him a knowing look. “About what happened.”

Bryce sighed. “All right. Fine,” he said in defeat.

\-----

“I guess, I’ll go first, since I suggested it,” Ryan said. Bryce didn’t say anything, but he nodded in affirmation for Ryan to start. “Okay. Well, for one, I really am sorry. I didn’t want things to go too far-not that I’m blaming you or anything, I just, I don’t know. God this is so weird to talk about. I just, I guess I enjoyed it because it was fun, but I understand if it’s like, crossing a boundary. I don’t even know what I’m saying.” Bryce gave a little giggle. “I guess, I really am sorry, I mean, I’ve done this before, had hook-ups with people that I knew, but then I left. I guess I don’t want to leave this time, but I’m not sure what I want to do. I guess I’m just, worried, or frustrated…god I really don’t know. We’re just so close, I didn’t…” He sighed. “Anyway, I’m pretty much going on about dumb shit at this point. And, not to be offensive, but it seems like this wasn’t your first drunk hook-up.” ‘Crap, does he know?’ Bryce thought. ‘No, there’s no way. Unless Jon…oh god what if Jon told Ryan about Jessica? Okay, just tell him part of everything. Just mention the hook-ups, don’t mention Jessica. Crap, what if he knows?’

“Okay then,” Bryce said somewhat uncomfortably. “I would go to clubs sometimes, and I would meet people, and, you know… They were always fun, but they always left. I would always think, this time, they won’t leave me. Maybe this one will be different.” Bryce stopped to take a breath. “And, with you, I don’t know. I didn’t want to be left again. Especially when it was my best friend.” Bryce noticed Ryan’s smile falter on the last two words, but he kept going. “I just, I hate heartbreak. Because, no one ever wants to stay for me.” He sighed. “No one ever loves me. I guess I thought...I don’t even know. Never mind.”

Ryan suddenly let out a sigh of frustration. “For god’s sake, Bryce.”

“What?” Bryce asked.

“I do, all right? I care about you.”

“W-what do you mean?”

“I love you, Bryce!” Ryan blurted out. Both man sat in silence for a moment, both were processing what had just happened.

“You-you-” Bryce stammered.

“Love you, yeah.” Ryan still seemed more angry than upset.

“Look, you, you don’t have to…”

“I don’t have to what? Love you? Well, I do. Surprised you didn’t figure it out sooner, but whatever. I fucking love you.”

“W-well don’t all right?”

“Why not?”

“Well for one, I’m not gay-”

“That’s an understatement,” Ryan said bitterly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bryce asked, suddenly angry.

“You are incredibly intent that you’re straight.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“No. Well, maybe. It just made me realize how much more fucked I am when I fell in love with you.”

“Would you stop saying that?” Bryce pleaded.

“Saying what?”

“That you love me.”

“Why?”

“Because you shouldn’t!”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t love you!”

“I know!”

“Then why do you love me?”

“I don’t know. Why did you love all those one-night stands you had? Why did you love Jessica?” Ryan spat out.

Suddenly any remorse Bryce felt had disappeared. He angrily grabbed the shorter man’s shirt and pulled him closer until their faces were a few inches apart. “Shut the hell up Ryan.”

“Make me, McQuaid,” Ryan threatened just as maliciously, grabbing Bryce’s shirt and pulling him closer. They were both aware of their current position, but for the moment, they didn’t care.

“I bet you’d rather I make you scream,” Bryce teased angrily.

Ryan flushed slightly pink. “And I bet you’d rather I was Jessica.”

“Maybe I do.”

Ryan tensed up for a second, then gave out a small sigh. “You know, I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to talk things out.”

“Little late for that Ryan,” Bryce stated.

“I know, and I just don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“I wanted us to be friends!” Ryan said abruptly, startling Bryce who pulled away a few inches, but still grasping Ryan’s shirt. “I knew, that I liked you. Originally, I was hoping we could still be friends, because I loved you more platonically than how much I was in love with you. But, after what happened, it just…it hurts, Bryce. I don’t want to have to pretend that being your friend, knowing that you won’t have any affection towards me, I just, I don’t know what to do anymore!” Ryan seemed on the verge of tears.

“Come on, Ryan. Your basing this off one hook-up. We were both drunk, and we-”

“I wasn’t.” There was a moment of silence again.

“What?” Bryce said.

“I wasn’t drunk, ok? I was sober, because I wanted to be able to make sure you’d be all right. You were the one who got drunk, you were the one who asked for me to cuddle with you, you were the one who kissed me, you were the one who wanted to hook up, but I agreed to it because I loved you. I still love you.” There were tears running down his face.

“I-I’m sorry,” Bryce stuttered, unsure of what to say. “I just, I hate heartbreak. As you so kindly pointed out, like with Jessica,” Bryce said, gritting his teeth together. “I don’t like being left. And now-”

“And now you’re the one who’s leaving me,” Ryan cried. The tears continued streaming down his cheeks and soaking his t-shirt, which Bryce was still holding on to (though he didn’t know why).

“Well, I’m sorry-”

Ryan snorted. “No you’re not.”

“Would you stop deciding my own feelings?” Bryce spat, getting more annoyed again.

“Believe me, if I could, this wouldn’t be happening,” Ryan said, anger creeping back into his voice.

“Why?”

“Well if you haven’t heard me say it a hundred times, I’ll say it again. I love you. I’m fucking in love with you Bryce McQuaid! But you of course had to leave me, just like I left everyone that ever loved me. And I get it now, it hurts. Bryce, I don’t know what to do. It hurts to be with you but not actually ‘with’ you, and I don’t want you to leave me alone. What am I supposed to do?” Ryan cried, sounding heartbroken and enraged as ever.

“Just-stop loving me!” Bryce pleaded, feeling tears of his own appearing in his eyes.

“How easy is that to do?” Ryan spat.

“I don’t know, just, stop okay?”

“Why should I?”

“Because!”

“Because why?”

“Because I just don’t love you Ohm!”

Ryan’s face went from anger to looking like his heart was torn to shreds. He released Bryce’s shirt and pulled out of Bryce’s grasp, the tears coming down harder now than ever. Bryce suddenly realized what he’d said.

“I-I mean…I don’t-Ryan I-”

“Forget it Bryce,” Ryan said sharply, starting to walk away. Bryce, however, grabbed his wrist to try and get him to stay.

“Ryan, please. I didn’t mean-”

“You know what Bryce?” Ryan spat out angrily, clenching his fist and pulling out of Bryce’s grasp. For a second, Bryce was wondering if Ryan was going to hit him. Instead, he dropped his arm and sighed. “I’m just going to go to bed. Good night.” He walked calmly over to the door, though there was still an obvious tenseness in his posture.

“Ryan, wait, please! I didn’t, it wasn’t, it meant-”

The door slammed shut.

“-Nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me.


	5. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, but here it is! Hope y'all enjoy (and cry)!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bryce's singing channel (you'll see how this is relevant to this chapter once you read it): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFDyOWrJhAvuMt4ijbdhxGA
> 
> Other song included in this fic (lyric version cause I couldn't find an official video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cF7b9EnH90

‘Sleep is for the weak. Well, so is love, but you had to go and fuck everything up by succumbing to that, didn’t you? You suck. You really are weak, crying all night because of something stupid. No wonder Bryce doesn’t love you. No one should love you. You don’t deserve it. You’re a heartbreaker and a jerk, why would anyone, especially someone as perfect as Bryce, care about you, let alone love you?’

Ryan wanted to make the thoughts shut up, but they were right. He didn’t deserve love. Especially not Bryce. Bryce could have any girl he wanted. Operative word: girl. He wanted to be mad, but he was mostly upset. ‘He’s straight, he’s straight, he’s straight. Get that through your brain and move on.’

But he couldn’t.

Something about Bryce just made him feel…well he didn’t know. He could only really describe it as love, because he’d never felt it before. Sexual and romantic were two different feelings. Loving sex was one thing. Loving a person was another.

What was it about Bryce that made him so…perfect? Sure, he had pretty eyes, a cute smile, he was incredibly sweet, his voice was like that of an angel’s, his laugh could bring a smile to your face no matter what, and his singing-god, he had an amazing set of pipes. The songs that he composed were great too. Yes, he felt like a teenage girl for watching his old song videos, but he really enjoyed them. In fact…

‘Fuck it, why not?’ his brain said as he grabbed his phone and opened up the YouTube app. ‘Battery: 20%. Oh, whatever.’ He looked up Bryce’s original channel and clicked on the first song, which was a cover of ‘Story of My Life.’ He plugged his earbuds into the phone and listened.

“Written in these walls are  
The stories that I can’t explain.”

Ryan closed his eyes and listened to the music. It may seem stupid, but listening to Bryce’s voice was nice, and calming.

After the song ended, he picked one of Bryce’s originals, called “Believe.”

“Never give up, never surrender never let go of your dreams.  
Just keep on trying and you can make it  
As long as you believe.”

The songs were incredibly cheesy, but the music was great, and Bryce’s voice made them sound even more beautiful. He continued listening to songs like “The One” and “Your Love Song” (and ignoring the ‘10% battery’ warning).

And then he clicked on a video titled “Now That You’re Gone.”

“When I look back at when we were together  
I never dreamt that we would be apart  
I wish that I could say that I'm better off without you  
But when you left, you took with you my heart”

‘Well, this song is depressing. What happened to the adorable love songs?’

“And now that you're gone, I'll try to move on  
But I'll forget about you, no  
And now that you're gone, and I'm all alone  
I'll never stop loving you, no”

‘Huh, sounds familiar,’ Ryan thought, biting as his still sore lip.

“When I look back at all the time I wasted  
I wish that I could do it all again  
If I could, I'd relive it in a heartbeat  
I only wish that you would do the same” 

The song may have been sad, but Bryce’s voice was so pretty; Ryan was having mixed emotions to it.

“And now that you're gone, I'll try to move on  
But I'll forget about you, no  
And now that you're gone, and I'm all alone  
I'll never stop loving you, no”

Ryan swore he wasn’t mouthing along to the words. He totally wasn’t.

“And now that you're gone, I'll try to move on  
But I'll forget about you, no  
And now that you're gone, and I'm all alone  
I'll never stop loving you, no” 

‘Fuck, why did I click on this?’

“And now that you're gone, I'll try to move on  
But I'll forget about you, no  
And now that you're gone, and I'm all alone  
I'll never stop loving you, no”

Ryan’s screen went dark as the battery died. He didn’t care. Tears were streaming down his face. He didn’t care. His heart felt like it was cracked. Not broken, but on the verge of breaking. He didn’t care. What did he care about? How the song basically captured how Bryce had made him feel. And that Bryce had probably once felt like that. ‘At least that person got to be someone to Bryce. I’m apparently no one. Well, almost someone.’

Ryan sighed and rolled over. He shivered slightly, too mad and annoyed to go get the comforter. He glanced out the window. ‘Less than an hour till the sun comes up.’ For some reason, the words “almost someone” kept ringing in his head.

‘Your fingertips across my skin  
The palm trees swaying in the wind  
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies  
The sweetest sadness in your eyes  
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same

For me

Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
Should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street  
You took my hand and danced with me  
Images

And when you left, you kissed my lips  
You told me you would never, never forget  
These images

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
Should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean  
I cannot drive the streets at night  
I cannot wake up in the morning  
Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted  
And I bet you are just

Fine

Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out  
Of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
Should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always

Do’

‘I hate him.  
I love him.  
I hate him.  
I love him.  
I hate him.’

Ryan rolled over and continued to cry silently.

“I love him”

\-----

“I messed up. I messed up. I messed up. I messed up.” Bryce couldn’t stop repeating the words over and over. “They’re true. I messed up.” He felt awful for what happened, and couldn’t bring himself to face Ryan right now. “I messed up. I shouldn’t have said that. I messed up. He’ll never forgive me. I messed up. He’ll probably stop loving me. I messed-”

Bryce was suddenly surprised by his own thoughts. “I don’t want him to love me. I don’t love him, we’re just friends. Why am I upset that…No. There’s no way.” He rolled over in his bed so he was facing the wall. “Am I…Is…Do I…” Bryce didn’t want to say it, even though the thought was right there, in the back of his mind.

“Do I love Ryan?”

\-----

“They’re a couple of fucking idiots, aren’t they?” Luke remarked.

Jon shrugged. “They haven’t gotten up yet, and it’s almost 11. I wouldn’t call that idiotic. I’d just call them lazy.”

Luke gave him a knowing look. “You know what I mean. They’re two idiotic fucks who won’t admit they’re hella gay for each other. You heard Ryan last night, talking to himself, and I heard Bryce as well. You think we should say something?”

Jonathon thought for a second. “On the one hand, those idiots need some sort of push. On the other hand, kinda wanna see how it plays out.” He looked at Luke after giving his insight. “What do you think?”

“I think they’re being stupid, and one of us should do something.”

“You can do whatever you want, I’m letting them solve this on their own.”

“Jon…”

“What? You know how much I like shipping them, but I want to see where this goes without us having to do anything.”

“Fair enough.”

\-----

*Time skip because I don’t want this chapter to drag on for too long (and I’m lazy). Just imagine that Bryce and Ryan were super awkward and avoided each other best they could*

“Movie time!” Jon sang as he collapsed on the couch with a bowl of popcorn.

“You better not spill anything,” Bryce warned as he popped the movie into the DVD player. They boys had decided on “Fight Club” apparently because it cool, and because of the sex appeal. (“I dare you to fight me if you don’t think that Brad Pitt is one of the sexiest actors ever,” Jon had said.)

“Hey! It was just ice cream,” Jon defended.

“It went all over the comforter,” Ryan grumbled, sitting on the far end of the couch.

“Look, I apologized all right? And the stain came out.”

“Can we just start the movie already?” Luke complained. He shoved Jon over and tried to wrestle the bowl of popcorn away from him.

“Don’t touch my kernels!” Jon shouted, earning a laugh from the other guys.

“I have two bowls, all right? You can each share a bowl with me or Ryan,” Bryce said, shaking his head.

Suddenly Jon sat up and acted all behaved. “Nah, Luke and I can share this one.” Bryce opened his mouth to object, then noticed the look Jon was giving him and the little smirk on Luke’s face.

“Ok then. Ryan, you, uh, don’t mind sharing one, right?”

Ryan’s suddenly tense form and lowered gaze didn’t go unnoticed by Bryce. “Yeah, sure. Just don’t hog the bowl,” He joked light-heartedly.

Bryce giggled. “No promises.” He got the second bowl and sat down next to Ryan. He knew Ryan was only pretending to not notice how close they were, the blush in his cheeks gave it away.

“All right then!” Jon hollered. He pulled out his phone and took a quick group selfie. “#movienight bitches!”

“Jon!” Ryan said.

“What? I just want a pic of us on my phone. It’s not like I’ll post it anywhere.”

“Okay.”

“Wait wait wait, hold up.” Luke looked at Jon strangely. “Did you just say ‘hashtag movie night’? What are we, teenage girls?”

“Aren’t we though?” Bryce said, giggling.

“OMG, like, #movienight with my #BFFS!” Jon said in a high-pitched girly voice.

“Like, check out this pic of my #popcorn,” Luke added.

“#sleepover with my #biffles,” Ryan chimed in, giggling.

“Lol, love my #baes, not as much as I love my popcorn!” Everyone collapsed into laughter. Bryce looked at Ryan and smiled, but Ryan’s grin disappeared and he looked down.

“All right, for real man, let’s start the movie,” Jon said, still slightly giggling.

Bryce clicked play and leaned back already munching on popcorn. He knew Ryan was watching him, but pretended not to notice. ‘He probably still hates me.’ Then Ryan reached into the popcorn bowl, grabbed a large handful and shoved it into his mouth.

‘Or he just wanted some popcorn.’

Apparently, “Fight Club” was Jon’s favorite movie, which meant he barely shut up during the whole thing.

“Aw, come on man. That plane crash dream was so lame.”  
“He’s the same person! How is he in two places at once?!”  
“-you do not talk about fight club. Second rule of fight club is, you do not talk about fight club.”  
“Yo, just tell him the two of you have been having sex, save yourselves the damn trouble.”

Bryce tried to ignore Jon’s comments, but they kept getting more annoying and loud, especially towards the end.

“There’s the umpteenth Pepsi product placement.”  
“What? Same person? So didn’t see that coming.” (sarcastic eye roll)  
“Oh, come on, how does shooting yourself in the cheek erase you’re alternate personali-” That one got cut off when Luke whacked him with a pillow.

“Man, shut up. We get it, you’ve seen the movie seven times.”

“Eight!”

“Whatever. Just shut the hell up already.”

“Make me.” Bryce and Ryan both stopped watching the movie and focused on the hilarious drama next to them.

“Is that a fucking challenge?”

“You bet it is.”

“All right then.” In an instant, Luke had Jon pinned to the couch and was covering his friend’s face with a pillow. When Jon pushed him off, Luke replaced the pillow with a handful of popcorn. Jon coughed and spat a few out, before attacking Luke with popcorn of his own.

“Food fight!” Ryan shouted, throwing a handful at the two men already fighting. Bryce grinned and threw a few kernels as well, and soon everyone was throwing popcorn at each other. When they ran out, Jon grabbed a pillow and whacked Ryan with it.

“Oh, fuck you Jon!” Ryan yelled after Jon had whacked him in the head.

“I’m not fucking you!” he giggled, hitting him in the stomach. Bryce and Luke grabbed pillows and started joining in.

“Give me that!” Ryan snatched the pillow from Jon’s hands, and the man just stood frozen for a second like a deer in headlights.

“Uh oh,” he whispered, about a millisecond before Luke tackled him to the floor and they all started smacking Jon with pillows.

“Get off of me!” he shouted, but still laughing. He pushed Ryan off him, who accidentally fell backwards-right into Bryce. To keep from falling over, the blonde steadied himself and caught Ryan in his arms just before he hit the floor.

For a moment, they both froze, just staring into each other’s eyes, oblivious to Jon and Luke grinning and fist-bumping.

“Um…” Bryce bit his lip, unsure of what to do. He finally pulled Ryan closer to him and helped him stand up.

“Uh, thanks,” Ryan said awkwardly, looking deliberately at everything except Bryce.

Luke and Jon burst out laughing. Bryce nudged Ryan’s shoulder and glanced at their two friends, lying on the floor giggling. He then looked pointedly at the pillows in their own hands. Ryan grinned devilishly, and they both attacked their helpless friends.

After about another half an hour of fighting and yelling, the guys finally tired themselves out and just sat on the couch, exhausted.

“Weren’t we watching a movie?” Bryce commented, causing everyone to start giggling again.

“I guess you could say that was a…different version of Netflix and Chill?” Ryan said cheekily.

“More like Netflix and Kill,” Luke said.

“Yeah, except nobody died,” Jon pointed out.

“And this wasn’t even Netflix, I own the movie,” Bryce added.

“All right!” Ryan surrendered. “DVD and Pillow Fights just doesn’t have to same ring to it, that’s all.” The guys fell into another fit of laughter.

\-----

“All right, I don’t know about you guys, but I am fucking exhausted,” Luke said an hour later. Since the movie had ended, the guys started talking about things like their youtube channels, different games that had come out recently or were already out, and generally just having fun talking to each other. They did that sometimes during Skype, but usually they had to be busy playing games, editing videos, or doing other necessities that prevented them from having these kinds of conversations.

“I’m kind of tired too,” Jon said, stretching and giving an overly-exaggerated yawn.

“I’m not. I was thinking of staying up a little longer,” Bryce admitted.

“Me too,” Ryan said.

“Well you two can be up. Just don’t keep us awake,” Jon said, winking and standing up.

Both Bryce and Ryan flushed light crimson. “We won’t,” Bryce assured them. Ryan looked down at his hands.

“Jon, let’s go.” Luke tugged on his friend’s arm.

“All right, all right, I’m coming.” Jon followed Luke out of the room, but gave Bryce a little smirk before he left.

The two men sat in silence for a little bit.

“So…” Bryce tried to start, but he couldn’t think of anything.

“Look, we’re going to end up getting to the conversation eventually, so let’s cut to it already,” Ryan snapped. Bryce flinched at his tone.

“All right,” he said slowly. He bit his lip, trying to figure out what to say, and Ryan sighed.

“I’m sorry!” they blurted out in unison. They looked at each other in shock.

“Wait, why are you sorry?” Bryce asked. “I was the one who made you upset, I said that I didn’t love you, I should be sorry, and I am. What do you have to apologize for?”

“I overreacted to what you said-”

“Ryan, no you didn’t,” Bryce tried to protest.

“Yes, I did. And I’m sorry. And I get it.”

“Get what?”

“Not loving someone, even if they love you,” he murmured.

“Ryan…”

“I am sorry. I did overreact, and I feel bad, and I pretty much ruined our friendship, and I don’t want that, and-”

“Ryan.”

“-I just don’t want things to be like this, I was scared of you hating me, so I just-”

“Ryan!”

“-tried to act like things were okay, but they aren’t, and I can’t-” Ryan was cut off by Bryce pulling him into a kiss. Ryan froze for a second, and Bryce was silently hoping he would kiss him back, but instead he did the opposite.

He pushed Bryce away.

“What the fuck was that? Why did you do that?” he shouted furiously.

“I just-I just wanted to help-”

“Well don’t!”

“Ryan, I thought-I thought you wanted-”

“I wanted you to care about me.”

“I do!”

“No you don’t!”

“Can we have one night without being upset at each other or arguing!” Bryce was finally able to get Ryan to shut up. Ryan opened and shut his mouth a few times, seeming to contemplate what to say.

“You don’t love me.” He finally said.

“What does it matter?” Bryce yelled, exasperated. “Why do you keep saying that?”

"Because you said you loved me!" Ryan blurted out. "When it happened. You said…you said 'Ryan, I love you.' And for the life of me, I thought you meant it. I actually thought…but do I really mean nothing to you? Because you say that only what happened was nothing, but you're treating me like I'm a nothing. Gosh Bryce, do you even care about me at all?"

"Ryan," Bryce said more calmly, gently Ryan's shoulder.

"Leave me alone," he said, pulling away at Bryce's touch. Bryce let his hand drop.

"Ryan, I just want to help." He gently cupped Ryan's face in his hands and stared deep into his eyes. After a second, he started leaning in.

"Bryce, no," Ryan said, seeming in pain even to push the younger man away. "Please. You doing nothing hurts less than if you do something with nothing behind it." When the blonde remained silent, Ryan just sighed. "I'm going out."

That got Bryce's attention. "Where?"

"Why do you care?" He replied sharply.

Bryce grabbed the other's wrist and forced him to look into his eyes again. "Because I want you to be okay."

Ryan pulled away sharply. "You actually believe that I'll be okay. That's cute." His tone had Bryce on the verge of tears. "I'm just going for a walk. I'll come back when I feel like it." He stormed towards the door without another second's hesitation.

"Wait, do you know how to-"

The door slammed shut.

"-get…back…home."

Bryce sighed and collapsed on the couch, burying his face in his hands.

And he finally let himself cry.

'I've pushed away yet another person I love. What have I done?'

He knew what he'd done. He'd fucked up. But there wasn't anything he could do about it now.

Love. Love. He loved Ryan. He knew it.

But Ryan didn’t.

Bryce was crying so much he didn't even know Luke had entered the room until he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, startled, and furiously wiped at his eyes to act as if he hadn't just been sobbing.

"So… I take it things didn't go so well." Bryce had to let out a little laugh.

"How could you tell?" he asked. Then he sighed. "It was all my fault. I was the one who got drunk. I was the one who refused anything else to happen."

"But you weren't the one who fell in love," Luke stated. Bryce looked down and didn't respond. "You didn't fall in love, did you?"

Bryce remained silent.

"Well, knowing you, you'll stay awake until he comes back. Good luck."

Bryce looked up, but Luke had already left.

He was still crying. Alone.

Bryce had a feeling he would always be alone.

\-----

‘Stupid Bryce. Stupid me. All I wanted was to get things back to normal, and all I did was make things worse.’ Ryan’s feet continued to trudge on the path, even though he wasn’t really paying attention to where he was going anymore. He’d been walking for what felt like forever, and he just wanted to get away. Away away away.

He was so distracted by his thoughts that he didn’t even register the dog barking, and he only saw it when it pounced on top of him.

“Maggie! Come here girl! Come back!” Ryan was on the ground, stunned, as a large dog with golden fur was on top of his chest, giving him tons of wet kisses. He smiled, it reminded him of Buddy back home.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!” A girl in about mid-twenties with long black hair, brown eyes, and freckles ran up to the dog and clamped a leash on the collar. “This is my dog, Maggie, the clasp on her leash breaks sometimes, and when she sees people she gets excited, and since she’s so big she really-” the woman stopped and took a breath, helping Ryan to his feet. “I’m sorry, I lost control of her. Are you hurt?”

“Uh, no, not really.” He wanted to say ‘physically,’ but he was sure this stranger wouldn’t want to hear about his stupid problems.

He was wrong.

“Hey, buddy, you all right? You look like you’ve been crying.” Her voice was suddenly full of concern and sympathy.

“I’m-I’m fine,” he insisted, pulling his hood over his head. He walked a few feet to a bench and sat down, shoving his hands in his pockets and facing away from the girl.

He heard her walk over and felt the bench shift weight as she sat down. “You know, it’s one a.m. and I’m out here walking my dog. If you want to talk to someone, I’d be willing to listen,” she assured, resting a hand on Ryan’s shoulder. “Girl problems? I could give you some advice, I am a girl after all.” ‘She’s just trying to be friendly. Why not talk to her?’

“Not exactly…” Ryan said.

She took a small scoot closer. “Boy problems?” Ryan looked up and saw her still smiling, but it was more of a knowing smile than a comforting one.

He sighed. “Yeah.”

“Well, I’d know less about that, but I can try to help anyway. What happened?” Maggie pulled on the leash a little bit, but the woman tugged back, causing the dog to sit.

“Well, long story short, I like him, but he’s straight.”

The girl cringed in sympathy. “That sucks.”

“Yeah. And he’s-or I guess at this point-was my best friend.”

“That’s gotta suck even more.” Her tone seemed to be urging him to continue.

“And this was only supposed to be a one-week visit, because we live kind of far away from each other, but it ended up…uh.” He hesitated and looked back at the woman, but her expression was blank and expecting. “Well, we ended up hooking up because he was drunk, and I’ve already confessed my feelings for him and he doesn’t feel the same way-” Ryan realized he was full on pouring out his emotions to this random person, but in all honesty, it felt good to be telling someone about it. “-and it sucks being with him as friends since he doesn’t feel the same way, but at the same time, I don’t want to have to exclude him from my life either, so-” he took a deep breath. The stranger still wasn’t objecting, so he concluded his rant. “I just-don’t know what to do. If I hadn’t fallen in love with him, none of this would have happened. It’s all my fault.”

“Aw, pal, I’m so sorry.”

“And the entire reason he hates stuff like one-night stands was because this one chick broke his heart by pushing him away after he told her that he loved her, and now he’s doing the same thing to me, and I just don’t understand why Bryce would do that when he knows how awful it feels.” Ryan collapsed and covered his eyes with his hands to try and mask his tears, but he was honestly blubbering like a baby. He dried his tears as best as he could, and looked over at the stranger to see her looking somewhat surprised and worried. ‘Because you just broke down crying in front of her, idiot. You’re fucking ridiculous, you know that right.’

Then he noticed the woman’s deep brown eyes were filling with tears as well. Maggie whimpered and laid her head on her owner’s lap.

“Oh my gosh-I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Ryan tried to apologize.

“No, no, it’s fine,” the girl tried to dismiss, wiping her eyes. “I just, well-” She sighed. “We’re both having a rough week, I guess. My boyfriend and I-” she stopped and looked at Ryan uncertainly. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to hear about my problems.” She tried to give a little laugh, but it sounded like she was in pain.

It was Ryan’s turn to be comforting. He put a hand on her shoulder and smiled. “Well, I just kind vented to you, so I guess it’s only fair if you return the favor.” She laughed a little and sniffed.

“All right.” The girl closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “There was a girl. She was young, foolish, and stupid. And she still is. She was in love with someone who didn’t care about her. And they had sex one night, and she said that she loved him. And he said that he loved her too. But, she would soon realize, that he only loved hooking up with her, he felt no romantic feelings towards her whatsoever. But she was stupid, so she let him continue to ‘be with’ her, he even did a few things-um-” she flushed slightly and cleared her throat. “-without her consent. But she was so in love with him she didn’t care. Didn’t care that he used her, abused her, and didn’t care about her. And one night, they had a big fight, and she took the dog for a walk with her to clear her head. And she bumped into some stranger in the park who was the first person to be willing to listen to her problems.” She gave Ryan a sad smile. “She realized what was happening to her for the first time. She has nowhere to go, and doesn’t know what to do. This is the only way she can escape, and it’s always only temporary.”

“Wow.” Ryan felt stupid for bombarding her with his own problems when she had it so much worse. “I-I’m sorry.”

The girl shrugged. “Not your fault, hon. It’s mine.”

“No, it’s his,” Ryan insisted.

The stranger smiled. “True. But, my story has kind of a moral, I guess. Don’t get into something unless you know what you’re getting into. Maybe it’s for the best, or maybe Bryce will realize that he likes you after all. I guess what I’m saying is that, when it’s too late, it’s too late, but when you have the right chance, know when to take it.” She absentmindedly pet her dog and looked at the ground. “And what you used to have with him, were you happy with it?”

“Yeah,” Ryan responded softly.

“Then, try and get back where you were. Appreciate what you have, you don’t want to have to lose it.”

“Got it,” he said, nodding. He didn’t notice he had been scratching Maggie’s ears until he felt the dog bumping her head into his hands playfully.

The girl giggled. “She likes you. Or she notices that you’re sad. She does that to me when Darren makes me upset.”

“Darren?”

“My boyfriend,” she explained.

“I have a Jack Russel Terrier at home. His name is Buddy,” Ryan said, trying to get her off the topic of relationships.

“Aw, that’s such a precious name!” the woman exclaimed. “I was going to name this little meatball Princess,” she said, scratching the dog’s head. “But my sister liked the name Maggie more, and I found that more fitting.”

“Well, that is pretty cute,” Ryan admitted. He held out his hand in front of Maggie’s face, and she licked it eagerly.

“Aw! She’s giving you kisses!” the stranger squealed. She cleared her throat. “Sorry, I just get so excited over my dog. She’s one of the few things that makes me happy anymore, you know?” Suddenly her giddy smile faded. “That was so depressing, oh my god. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Yeah.” She sighed and scratched her dog’s head slowly and thoughtfully. “I should get home soon. Darren’s going to be upset if I’m gone for too long.”

Ryan sighed. “Ok. My name’s Ryan, by the way.”

She stood up and stopped petting Maggie. “I’m Jesse.”

“Nice to meet-”

“Short for Jessica.”

For a second, Ryan wondered why she’d interrupted him, but then he noticed her nervous face and posture. It then took another second for him to put two and two together.

‘It’s her. And she knows.’

“Y-you,” Ryan sputtered, and she nodded solemnly.

“Tell Bryce that I say hi,” she said hopefully.

“Um, ok.” He was still kind of in shock. “Any…Anything else?”

“Uh, sure. Yeah.” She thought for a second. “I guess…tell him I’m sorry. I really miss him, and now because of Darren, I realize how awful I was to him, and rejecting him was my biggest mistake. And…I hope he’s happier now.” She looked at Ryan and smiled, but there were tears in her eyes. “I hope he’ll be happier with you.”

“Thanks, Jessica. I hope things work out with Darren, but in all honestly, he sounds like a jerk. If I try to make up with Bryce, can you try and leave behind someone who obviously doesn’t love you. You seem so sweet, I know you deserve better.”

Jessica smiled sadly. “Thanks Ryan. I will. Good luck.” She bent down and gave him a hug, and Maggie jumped on his lap and gave him more kisses. They both laughed as Jessica desperately tried to pull the dog away.

Ryan got up and started walking on the path. “Bye, Jesse,” he called.

She turned around and smiled brightly one more time. “Bye.”

\-----

‘He should be here soon. He should be here soon.’ Bryce had been repeating this to himself for what felt like years. ‘Why does time slow when you’re nervous about something?’ He tried to distract himself by pulling out his phone and opening the youtube app, and found himself clicking on one of Ryan’s videos. It was just a regular, funny gmod game, but hearing the man he loved sound so happy, from his smile, his laugh, and everything, made his heart swell.

‘He’ll be here soon. He’ll be home soon.’

\-----

Ryan walked in and closed the door quietly. ‘The guys have to be asleep by now. No sense in waking them.’

However, when he tiptoed over to the couch, he saw someone seated there on their phone.

“Bryce?”

The younger man was startled by Ryan’s presence. At first he seemed scared, then his face shifted to somewhat angry.

“Where the hell have you been? It’s been 3 hours!” Bryce accused, standing up to be taller than Ryan.

“Easy, dude. Just took a walk in the park, and around town to clear my head. No big deal.”

“It’s 2 am! I was worried sick because you didn’t even have your phone, I didn’t know if you were okay-”

“Geez, mom, I’m here, I’m fine.”

Bryce sighed. “Sorry. I just, if something happened to you-”

“Hey,” Ryan interrupted softly as he took Bryce’s hands in his own. “I’m here now, and that’s what matters, right? Besides, I can take care of myself.”

Bryce looked down at his hands clutching on to Ryan’s own. “Yeah, I guess,” he murmured.

Ryan realized what he was doing and let go, letting his hands drop down to his sides.

“Well, I should go to bed,” Bryce said, still avoiding Ryan’s eyes as he began walking away.

‘Just fucking say it,’ his brain practically yelled at him.

“She says hi, by the way,” Ryan remarked quietly.

“Who does?”

“Jessica.”

Bryce froze and turned around slowly. “What?”

“I ran into her on my walk. Well, more like her dog ran into me. What’s its name again? Molly?”

“Maggie,” Bryce said without turning around. “You really saw Jessica? My Jessica?”

“Yep,” Ryan said, popping the p. “She told me to tell you hi. So…” He put his hands on Bryce’s shoulders and turned him around so they were looking each other in the eyes. “Hi.”

Bryce stared at Ryan for a second before dropping his eyes to the floor. “Well, thanks, I guess,” he said, shrugging out of Ryan’s touch. Ryan expected him to walk away, but he didn’t. “Did she, uh-” Bryce coughed. “Did she say anything else?”

“Yeah, actually, she did.” Ryan straightened his posture. “She said that she misses you, and she’s sorry. She didn’t realize what a great guy you were, and she feels awful for rejecting you. She finally realized how badly she treated you, even though it took her a while, she’s still sorry.” Ryan bit his lip, noticing Bryce was tearing up. “She hopes you’re happier now,” he finished. There was a long moment of silence.

“That was her message, now here’s mine,” Ryan continued. He took a deep breath, ignoring Bryce’s questioning eyes.

“I’m sorry. I ruined this entire week by being stupid, by liking you more than a friend. It was my fault, and I don’t blame you for being upset, or if you don’t even want to friends anymore, but I know I fucked up big time. I miss you. I miss what we used to have, how we used to be, and I’d rather have that than having an infinite amount of pain without you in my life at all. We don’t even have to be ‘best friends’ or whatever, but I want to still have you, whatever I can get. Please-” Ryan paused to take a breath, when Bryce pulled him into a tight hug. Ryan stood still for a second before hugging back. He felt Bryce’s tears seeping into his shirt. This wasn’t a hug out of pity, it was a hug full of affection, caring, and-love?

“Of course I still want to be friends,” Bryce said, his voice slightly unsteady as he hugged Ryan even harder. “I overreacted, yesterday and earlier. I’m sorry for being stupid. I thought about it, and realized that-that I want you in my life too. You’re one of my closest friends, I care about you.”

It was Ryan’s turn to cry. ‘I still want us to be friends.’ ‘I’m sorry.’ ‘I want you in my life too.’ ‘I care about you.’

It wasn’t love, but it was close.

And Ryan was satisfied with that.

After a few seconds, Bryce pulled back slightly so his and Ryan’s faces were just inches apart. Ryan gazed into gorgeous blue-green eyes the color of the sea during a sunset, complete with a golden light flickering in them. For once, though, he wasn’t drowning, he was just sitting back and noticing their beauty. He brought his attention to the tears running down Bryce’s face, and instinctively brought his hand up to wipe them away. His hand lingered on Bryce’s cheek, and for a moment, taking in their position and the words they just exchanged, Ryan thought that Bryce might kiss him.

And then the moment ended.

“I, uh-” Ryan coughed dropping his hand to his side and pulling back. “I should, go to sleep. Busy day today, you know.” He attempted a weak smile.

“Yeah…” Bryce agreed, stepping back. “Let me know if you need anything. Don’t be afraid to ask.”

“I won’t,” Ryan insisted, walking over to the couch.

“Good night.”

“Good night.” And Bryce was gone.

Ryan, instead of laying down on the couch and going to sleep, sat upright and placed his head in his hands. ‘Of course he wasn’t going to kiss me. He’s still straight as a pole, he just forgave me and said he wanted to be my friend again. That’s it. Friend. That’s all.’ He rubbed his temples and sighed. ‘Just give up already.’

It was certain. Bryce wasn’t in love with Ryan. ‘And he never will be.’

\-----

Bryce entered his room and collapsed onto his bed. He rubbed his eyes and mentally scolded himself. ‘You should have just gone for it. You knew he liked you, you were about to kiss him, and you chickened out. You should have at least done it to see if it’s not too late. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Was it?’ Bryce pondered what had just happened. Then a realization hit him. ‘But…Ryan was the one who pulled back. Which means…’ Bryce sighed.

It was certain. Ryan was no longer in love with Bryce. ‘And he never will be.’

“Not anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh come on, you didn't think this would end on a perfectly happy note, did you?


	6. Day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can things get back to normal? Will they ever? Do two idiot need some help getting back on the right track cuz they're a bunch of clueless fools in love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This fic isn't dead! How 'bout dah? This chapter has less sadness than some others have, but we can't have a single one without _any_ angst, now can we. Enjoy!

Ryan woke up feeling somewhat better. Sure, he was still sad about what happened last night, but hey, things could have been worse. At least Bryce forgave him, at least they were friends again. The word “friend’ still kind of hurt, but again, it could be worse. 

Ryan checked his watch, and somehow, although it was 7am, he felt well-rested. Sleep could be weird like that. Some days you would get not a ton of sleep, but wake up feeling great and even a little productive. And that’s how Ryan felt right now, though in the back of his mind he wondered if he was slightly delirious from the lack of sleep.

Speaking of Delirious, he wasn’t sleeping on the floor, in fact the mattress wasn’t even there. Ryan figured that he’d probably been too tired to get his mattress, and slept somewhere else. Whatever.

He got up, stretched, and decided to make breakfast. He was really hungry and in a prolific mood, so he settled on pancakes. When he checked the pantry in the kitchen, he saw that Bryce had pancake mix, the instant kind where you just add water, and there were some blueberries in the fridge. The gamer smiled. Bryce had said that blueberry pancakes were his favorite. That had been a while ago, but Ryan was pleased with himself for remembering.

He grabbed the berries, pancake mix, along with some butter and syrup, and began cooking.

* * *

Bryce woke up a wonderful aroma. He breathed it in and opened his eyes. It smelled like pancakes. Yum. 

He laid in bed, contemplating if he wanted to stay there for a few more minutes, and maybe go back to sleep. He was still a little tired from staying up last night, but there was nothing like good pancakes in the morning to wake you up and get into a good mood for the day.

Bryce’s stomach rumbled a little.

Pancakes it is, then.

* * *

Ryan was in the middle of his second batch of pancakes when he heard someone walk into the kitchen. He smiled and turned around, and almost sighed when he saw Bryce standing there with loose pajamas and his cute blond hair all messy.

“Morning Brycey,” he chirped, going back to flipping a pancake.

Bryce just yawned and didn’t respond.

“I’m making blueberry pancakes. Your favorite, right?”

Bryce ignored him and walked over to the fridge.

“What’s the matter? Ellie got your tongue?” he tried to joke. Bryce took the milk carton out and poured himself a glass. “I didn’t feed them by the way, but I can if you want me to.”

The blond still didn’t respond, but he went to open the cat food bag. Something about Bryce seemed…wrong.

“Bryce, are you giving me the silent treatment?” he blurted out. The younger froze for a second at the outburst, but then continued to put the dry food in the cats’ bowls. Two of them were already crowding Bryce, meowing to be fed.

“Did I do something wrong?” Ryan asked quietly, adding another pancake to an increasing stack. The look of resentment on Bryce’s face didn’t go unnoticed, and he even looked like he would have said something if not for-

“We smelled pancakes!” Jon shouted as he and Luke ran in. Since they were both in socks, Luke slipped crashed into his best friend, and they both fell to the floor, giggling like little kids.

“Well, your noses didn’t mislead you. There’s almost two batches already,” Ryan said confidently, trying to flip a pancake in the air. However, since his aim was terrible, it flew over his shoulder and landed on the floor, causing everyone to crack up again.

“Well, there go my pancake-flipping dreams,” Ryan said, picking the food off the floor and dropping it into the trash. “Anyway, Jon, where were you last night? I woke up and your mattress wasn’t even on the floor.”

“Oh yeah. Well Luke and I thought that Bry-” Jon was interrupted when he was elbowed in the ribs by Luke. “We were both exhausted, and I didn’t feel like getting out my mattress, so we just slept together.” Ryan and Bryce were already giggling before Jon could even process what he’d said.

“I meant-I meant-” Jon tried to protest, but he was laughing as well.

“We haven’t done that in years,” Luke pointed out, making Jon blush slightly.

“Shut up!” At this point, Ryan and Bryce sounded like they were having trouble breathing.

“I mean, it’s not like we’re ever doing it again,” Luke continued.

“Will you shut the fuck up abou-” Jon looked at his friend curiously. “I wasn’t _that_ bad, was I?”

“Let me put it this way: for someone who actually likes guys, you do awful in bed with other men.”

“Aw come on, it wasn’t _awful._ ”

“You wanna know how bad it was? First off-”

“Oooooooookay I think we’ve all heard enough, Luke,” Ryan said awkwardly, holding up 2 pancakes over is ears.

Jon glanced at him and began giggling. “You look like a fucking monkey.” That remark had everyone giggling again.

“All right, enough sex talk, who wants pancakes?” Ryan said.

“Me!” Jon and Luke shouted, pushing each other to grab pancakes from the pancake stack.

Ryan laughed. “You guys know there’s plates, right?”

“Plates are for pussies,” Delirious said, grabbing four pancakes in each hand.

“Learn to share, you dick,” Luke complained, snatching a pancake from Jon’s hands.

“Guys, I only made so many pancakes,” Ryan complained, swatting their hands away. He looked at Bryce who was standing off to the side, mindlessly petting one of the cats. “Bryce, want some?” Jon and Luke backed off and began stacking their pancakes on their plates.

Bryce silently grabbed a plate and stacked a couple of pancakes on top.

“So, that’s a yes,” Ryan muttered quietly.

Jon and Luke exchanged a concerned glance.

“Are you two all right?” Jon whispered to Ryan.

“We’re fine,” he said sharply. He felt Bryce look over at them, but knew that he wouldn’t say anything.

He was right. Bryce brought his focus back to his breakfast.

Ryan sighed and flipped another pancake.

* * *

Bryce wasn’t mad. He really wasn’t. But he was sure he came off that way. Mad, rude, whatever Ryan’s opinion was of him right now, it wasn’t a positive one. You couldn’t really blame him, realizing that you’re in love with your best friend might take a little time to process. He figured not talking to him would keep him from doing anything too stupid.

_But then again, not saying anything could be stupid too._

* * *

“So, how’d everyone sleep last night?” Luke said, breaking the silence at the table.

“Fine,” Bryce said.

“Good,” Ryan said.

“Eh,” Jon said with a slight giggle.

“Why just ‘eh’?” Luke asked curiously.

Jon rolled his eyes and gave Luke a small shove. “You know exactly why,” he mumbled with a mouth full of pancakes.

“I have a feeling we’re good not knowing the answer,” Bryce joked lightly.

Jon rolled his eyes. “We haven’t done anything like that in _years.”_ Jon repeated. “After night two of this week, we figured no one else needed to be having sex for the rest of our stay.” Ryan and Bryce blushed, and Luke hit Jon upside the head. “Just saying,” he muttered, taking another bite of a pancake. “Hey Bryce, you have any whipped cream for these, like at Denny’s?”

“Yeah, sure,” Bryce said, getting up from his chair.

“I’ve got it Bryce,” Ryan insisted. Bryce didn’t say anything in response but sat down.

“So, what were you guys thinking of doing today?” Luke inquired. “Like, I’m not complaining, but we haven’t done much except play video games, watch a couple movies, and go out drinking once. I just wanna do something really fun, you know?”

Ryan plunked the container of whipped cream on the table. Jon grinned and squirted a mountain onto his pancake. “Okay, like what?” Ryan asked.

“Hey, check this out,” Bryce said curiously, turning around the newspaper he’d been reading and placing it on the table. He pointed at a section advertising a boardwalk fair. “We could try that out. Today or tomorrow.”

“Or both,” Jon suggested, squirting whipped cream straight into his mouth.

“I don’t know about both, that feels like too much of a hassle,” Ryan admitted.

“Maybe we could just go tomorrow. It can be like a special thing for your guys’ last day here,” Bryce said, smiling. He looked at Ryan for a fraction of a second before looking back down at his pancakes.

Ryan swore he’d seen pain in those gorgeous eyes.

“Sounds good to me,” Luke said.

“Me too,” Jon said after swallowing his mouth full of whipped cream.

After a couple of seconds, Bryce timidly said, “Ryan?” Everyone looked at him, it was the first time he’d spoken directly to Ryan all morning.

“Yeah, sure, sounds great.”

* * *

After breakfast, the guys were deciding if they wanted to leave the house today, or just stay in and play video games and shit like they’d done for the past few days.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I personally wanna go out and do something,” Jon said.

“Ditto,” Luke said.

“Ditto number two,” Ryan chimed in.

Bryce rolled his eyes. “You know you don’t have to say ‘ditto number two,’ you can just say ‘ditto,’ you dork,” he said with a chuckle. Ryan smiled, happy hearing Bryce laugh _’You are such a teenage girl,’_ he thought to himself.

“How about we go out and, I don’t know, do some shopping or whatever. I could use some Georgia souvenirs,” Jon said, chuckling.

“I’m in,” Luke agreed.

“Ditto,” Ryan declared.

“Ditto number two.” Everyone looked at Bryce, who looked at everyone except Ryan. “What?”

“Nnnnnothing,” Jon said. Everyone giggled hysterically.

* * *

Bryce knew the area pretty well (obviously, he’d lived there his whole life) so he decided to be their unofficial tour guide while the gang was taking a walk downtown. He knew the different streets, different shops, and even some of the people that hung out or worked at certain places. Luke and Jon kept complaining about the weather, to which Bryce just ridiculed them for wearing black pants and non-breathable t-shirts. They admitted that he was right, but it didn’t stop their complaining. Ryan had the right idea, wearing a plain white (and somewhat see-through, not that Bryce was looking or anything) t-shirt and cargo shorts, which held his phone that he kept pulling out to take occasional pictures of the city around him.

“You’re such a tourist, Ry,” Bryce teased. Luke and Jon snickered.

“Well, I’m just trying to take pictures of the beauty around here, Brycey,” Ryan teased back. Without missing a beat, he turned the camera to selfie mode and snapped a pic of him and Bryce, managing to catch the taller one as he was still giggling. “Looks great,” he said as he pulled up the picture, showing it to Luke, who gave him a high-five, then Jon, who gave Bryce finger guns.

“Can we move along, please?” Bryce said, trying very hard not to blush, but failing.

“Aw, what’s wrong Bryce? Is the sun getting to you too?” Luke joked, slinging an arm around Bryce’s shoulders. “Looks like your cheeks are getting sunburned.”

“Shut uuuup,” Bryce groaned, rolling his eyes and looking at anything but Luke right now.

Beside them, Bryce noticed Jon whisper something to Ryan that made him blush and turn away as well.

“Um,” Bryce coughed. “If you guys want, this is a great place for lunch.” He gestured to a fried chicken place called Tastee Chick.

“Lunch? Is it that late?” Jon said, checking his watch.

Bryce did his best not to giggle. “It’s one-thirty. We’ve been walking for a couple hours. I mean, I’m hungry.”

“Ditto!” said Ryan.

“Ditto number two!” Luke said, elbowing Bryce, who sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Ditto number three!” Jon chimed in, making the others laugh almost until they snorted.

“All right, all right,” Bryce said once they’d all calmed down. “Now do you guys want fried chicken or what?”

“Woo-hoo! Fried chicken!” Jon hollered, grabbing Ryan’s arm and pulling him inside. Bryce and Luke rolled their eyes but laughed and followed the pair inside.

* * *

“Best fried chicken on the planet!” Jon announced once he’d finished. “Seriously, if I lived here, I’d come to this place every day.”

“You’d be 500 pounds,” Luke said casually, taking a bite of his wing. Ryan laughed so hard he snorted, and Bryce was trying not to laugh because he still had a mouth full of food.

“Okay, not every day, but still! This stuff is amazing!”

“Glad you liked it.” Bryce took a sip of his drink, but almost spit it back out. “That’s not Sprite…” he mumbled.

“Yeah, that one was mine. Sorry…” Ryan said. Bryce couldn’t see himself, but he knew his ears were bright red.

“I’m sorry for accidentally grabbing the wrong cup,” Bryce said, forcing a little laugh.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Ryan cleared his throat. “Um, I have to use the restroom, be right back.”

“K, we’ll probably still be here cuz these two won’t finish up their fucking chicken,” Jon said, giving Bryce and Luke looks. Bryce rolled his eyes, and Luke just shoved Jon almost off his chair. Ryan giggled and left.

Once he was gone, both Ryan and Jon turned to Bryce expectantly. “What?” he said, his mouth once again full of chicken.

“So?” Jon said.

“So, what?”

“What’s with you and Ryan?” Luke filled in. “Are you two a thing, not a thing, do you like him, etc.”

Bryce sighed. “I think we’re just trying to go back to the way things were. I think we’re just friends.”

“See, there’s the problem,” Jon said, suddenly all business-like. “You think that you two are just friends, but you don’t actually _know_ it, do you? Your problem is your communication, and if you fuck it up you’ve basically just fucked up everything with your best friend…slash potential lover.” He said the last part rushed and under his breath, but Bryce still heard him and frowned.

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to be in an actual relationship with me anyway. I mean, he-”

“Woah, woah, woah. Wait a second,” Luke interrupted. “ _He’s_ the one that doesn’t want a relationship? What about you? I thought you were straight and didn’t like Ryan as more than a friend.”

“Yeah, well…” Bryce didn’t even need to finish the sentence. Luke was just looking at Bryce with his mouth agape, and Jon was giggling and saying stuff like, “I knew it!” “The ship is sailing!”

“Okay, okay, not a big deal though. Besides, I don’t think Ryan likes me as anything more than a friend.”

“What makes you say that?” Jon said, finally stopping acting like a child.

“Well, last night, he said that he was sorry that he’d messed everything up and wanted it to go back to the way it was. And then I was going to kiss him, but he pulled away and said good night.”

“Shuch. Up. You were going to kiss him?” Jon was giggling again, and Luke had to swat him on the arm to get him to hush.

“Yeah, but he pulled away.”

“Okay but here’s the thing,” Luke said. “Were you clear that you were going to kiss him, or were you just kind of in a position where it was possible and you were thinking about it?”

“I mean, we’d apologized and were hugging, and we pulled the tiniest bit apart and he wiped away the tears on my cheek and kept his hand there, I thought it meant that he wanted to, but then he pulled away, so…”

“It sounds like he wanted to kiss you,” Jon remarked, swiping a chicken wing from Bryce’s plate. Bryce let him.

“Yeah, then why didn’t he? And all he said was that he wanted to be friends, if he wanted us to be an actual thing he would have told me.”

“Well, maybe he was worried that you still didn’t like him,” Jon suggested.

“Usually Ryan’s pretty obvious about his emotions,” Bryce said, honestly just thinking out loud at this point.

“Well, you’d know more about him than us. You two are really close,” Luke said. “Whether you think he just wants to be friends or if he wants an actual relationship, it doesn’t matter. _Talk_ to him about it. Please, it’ll make everything less uncomfortable for all of us.” Bryce sighed. “Seriously. You’ll never really know unless you honestly-”

“You guys almost done?” Bryce almost jumped at Ryan’s seemingly sudden appearance.

“Yeah, we’re just about ready to go,” Luke said.

“But I-” Jon started, but stopped when Luke kicked him in the leg. “Yeah, done. Totally done. Ready to skedaddle.”

“What does that word even mean?” Bryce said, giggling.

“It’s a real word, man.” The others just laughed. “Fine! Whatever! Laugh at me, you’ll be sorry when I’m famous.”

Luke snorted. “Jon…buddy…” Jon’s face turned red. “That stupid comeback doesn’t work anymore.”

“Whatever, man. Can we leave? I can’t take any more embarrassment.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

* * *

After a little more walking around, the guys found a small souvenir shop where they each bought something. Luke got a shot glass with a picture of a peach that said “Georgia” on it. Ryan got one of those cheesy license plates that had his name on it, and as cliché as it was, Jon got a teddy bear with a heart in its paws that said “I ❤ Georgia” on it. The others teased him for it, but Jon just crossed his arms and insisted that the teddy bear would be important when he builds his teddy bear army.

“Whatever you say, Jon,” Bryce said, still kid of giggling.

“You’ll all be sorry once me and my teddy bears have taken over the world,” Jon pouted, hugging the stuffed animal to his chest.

Luke ruffled Jon’s hair. “Of course we will.” That sent the guys into another round of laughter.

* * *

Once the guys got back to Bryce’s house, around dusk, Jon suggested they play more video games. The others groaned.

“Jon, we do that literally every day,” Ryan complained. “Don’t you want to do something else?”

“Well, what do you suggest? We already went out for the day, we’ve had two movie nights in a row, what else do you want to do?”

Luke suddenly grinned. “What if we had a sleepover? You know like teenage girl style shit where we stay up all night talking, making cookies, playing stupid games like would you rather?”

“I’m actually kind of down for that,” Bryce said.

“Ditto,” said Ryan.

“Me too,” Jon said with a smirk.

“Aw, no ditto number two?” Bryce joked.

“Nah, that joke’s getting old.”

“All right. So, are we all just going to sleep in the living room or something?”

“Sure. I should have sleeping bags or something.” Bryce left to go retrieve them, and the second he was gone, Luke and Jon practically pounced.

“Ryan. We need to talk,” Luke and Jon said in unison. Ryan looked at them questioningly. Their tone seemed assertive yet nervous.

“Okay. About what?”

“Do you like Bryce?”

Ryan sighed. Did he like Bryce? No. He loved him. Wasn’t it obvious by now? Clearly not, since these two felt the need to ask him. Well, trying to back off may have been confusing, but he just wanted Bryce to be happy, and if it meant just being friends, no matter how much it hurt, then he was willing to be just friends. The way things were.

“What do _you_ think?”

“I’m thinking yes,” Jon said. “But the thing is, Bryce doesn’t think that.”

“Well, that’s kind of the point.”

“What? Why?”

“Why do you think?” Ryan said bitterly.

“No what I mean is-” He stopped himself when he heard Bryce return.

“I only have two sleeping bags, but I figured one person could do the mattress, another person on the couch, and then we’d be good,” Bryce said casually, not realizing what he’d just walked in on.

“Sounds good,” Luke said, giving Ryan a quick glance.

Ryan cleared his throat. “So, uh, what do you guys want to do first? I’m down for anything.”

“We know, Ry,” Luke joked. Ryan just rolled his eyes and tried not to blush while Jon and Bryce giggled.

“You know what I mean…” he mumbled.

“I say we just hang out and talk,” Jon said. “This week is the only time we’ve ever really had to do any of that.”

Ryan kept himself from mentioning that he and Bryce talked every day, via Skype or texting, so it wasn’t really the only time they’d just hang out and talk.

“Okay. Talk about what?” Bryce said sitting down.

Jon shrugged. “Literally anything. Besides politics. But really, anything.”

“Okay. How about personal lives? How are your guys’ lives going?” Luke said.

“Doing just fine,” Ryan said nonchalantly. He noticed Bryce frown, but chose to ignore it.

“Didn’t you recently say that…” Bryce mumbled. The guys each gave him a look. “Never mind.”

“What?” Luke pried.

“Nothing,” Bryce insisted. Ryan knew what he was talking about.

“It’s okay, I guess,” Ryan said. “It’s just…Buddy hasn’t been feeling well recently. He’s an old dog, and I’m worried that, soon, I won’t have him anymore.” Ryan sighed and tried to hold in his tears, thankfully he was successful. Bryce put a hand on his shoulder.

“Wow, we’ve already gotten into sad, hard-hitting topics and no one’s even broken out the alcohol yet,” Jon said, trying to lighten the mood. Ryan gave a small chuckle to prove he was all right.

“Okay, let’s talk about literally anything other than politics and hard-hitting stuff, huh?” Luke suggested.

“Okay,” Jon said. “So who did you guys vote for?” Luke smacked him on the arm while Ryan and Bryce laughed their heads off.

After that the conversation actually went pretty normal, talking about stuff from home life, to basic things like sports, random funny stories, and a little discussion of their YouTube careers made it in there too. Bryce felt happy that they were just having a regular adult conversation like regular friends. It sounds dumb to like something like this, but since their typical everyday friendship didn’t really consist of this stuff, so he was happy with every little bit he could get.

Occasionally, he’d find himself paying attention to Ryan, and not just his words. The way he moved his hands when he talked, especially when excited. The way he threw his head back a little when he laughed, the little crinkles by the corners of his eyes when he smiled.

The one thing he didn’t notice, was how Ryan was paying attention to Bryce just as closely. Ryan saw the way Bryce’s eyes lit up when he was happy, the little claps he did when he was excited, the way he covered his eyes or mouth when he was laughing, the way he blushed or his pitch getting higher when he was a little bit nervous.

The two of them were happy just being able to talk while quietly observing the other.

But inside both of them, there was a wanting of something more.

* * *

“So, you guys actually wanna bake cookies?” Bryce said, after a few hours of them talking.

“Um, is that even a question?” Jon said, getting up and running to the kitchen. Bryce smiled and ran after him, followed by Luke and Ryan. They got out the ingredients, preheated the oven, and pulled out three bags of chocolate chips.

“I want these as chocolatey as possible!” Ryan declared, swiping a handful of chips from one of the bags.

“Hey, don’t you eat the ingredients,” Bryce said, tried swiping the bag away from Ryan.

Ryan was too quick, and darted away. “Make me.”

Bryce grinned. “Fine.” In a flash, he grabbed the Bag from Ryan and held it as high as he could above his head. Since Ryan was the shortest, Bryce Luke and Jon were all laughing their heads off as Ryan jumped up and down to try and get the bag.

“No fair! You’re too tall!” Ryan complained.

“Not my fault you’re short, man.”

“I swear to god Bryce I will climb you like a vine,” Ryan joked.

“I’d like to see you try,” Bryce challenged. Ryan smirked and grabbed onto Bryce’s shoulder, pretending to be about to actually climb him. Bryce, startled, dropped the bag, and Jon swooped in and snatched it before it hit the ground.

“Oh come on, that’s not fair,” Bryce jokingly complained. “But seriously, are we gonna bake or what?”

“Let’s get baked!” Luke shouted, making the others burst out laughing. “What? What did I say?”

The actual process of making the cookie batter wouldn’t have been that bad if Ryan and Jon didn’t continually insist on needing to test out if the batter was good, which ended up with them each taking several large spoonfuls of it.

“If you get salmonella, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Bryce said nonchalantly as he and Luke started rolling bits of the dough into balls and putting them on the baking tray.

“We’re invincible to that kind of shit,” Jon mumbled as he helped himself to more chocolate chips.

“Look, just because you got it before doesn’t mean you can never get it again, Jon,” Luke said. Jon rolled his eyes and pouted while Bryce and Ryan snickered.

“You’ve gotten salmonella before?” Ryan laughed.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Jon mumbled, crossing his arms.

“So it was one year during Thanksgiving,” Luke started.

“Bro come on, please don’t,” Jon begged.

“Fine.” After two seconds, he quickly said, “Jon was in charge of fixing the turkey and he sucked at it so it all went to shi-” He was interrupted when Jon slapped his hand over Luke’s mouth. Ryan and Bryce were giggling.

“Okay, you wanna go motherfucker?” Luke said, giving Jon a playful shrug.

“Yeah, I do.” He grabbed the bag of chocolate chips from the counter and threw a handful at Luke.

“Aw come on, don’t waste chocolate,” Bryce complained, sliding a tray of unbaked cookies into the oven.

“Fine, fine,” Jon said, surrendering the bag.

“Wow, you two are always just ready to fight at the drop of a hat, aren’t you?” Ryan observed, munching on some chocolate from another bag.

“Guess it’s just a brotherly bff thing,” Luke said, throwing an arm around Jon’s shoulders and ruffling his hair.

“Guess so,” Ryan said. He went to grab another handful of chocolate when Bryce stole the bag from him.

“You’re going to die from chocolate overdose,” Bryce playfully scolded.

“I’ll have you know that that isn’t a thing,” Ryan said, crossing his arms.

“I’ll have you know that this is my house and whatever I say goes.”

“Even if it’s not true?” Ryan challenged, crossing his arms.

Bryce tried not to chuckle. “You’re too short and cute to be intimidating, Ry.”

“Aw, you think I’m cute, Brycey?” Ryan said in a husky voice.

Bryce took a step closer to him. “I think you’re adorable.”

Jon and Luke just watched the ordeal, unsure if the two were about to fight or fuck.

“Um, should we give you two some privacy?” Luke joked.

The sexual tension between Ryan and Bryce dissipated. “No, everything’s fine,” Bryce said, walking over to the oven to check on how the cookies were doing.

“Well, waiting for cookies to finish baking is boring,” Jon declared. “Anyone wanna do something fun?”

“You’re such a child,” Luke remarked.

“What, aren’t you bored?”

“How about we do one of those dumb girl sleepover games like truth or dare or would you rather?” Ryan suggested.

“Really?” Luke said in disbelief.

“Why not? It’ll be fun. And it’ll give us something to do while we wait for the cookies.”

“All right, I’m in,” Bryce said.

“Ditto,” said Luke, grabbing come more chocolate chips from the bag.

“Ditto number two,” said Jon. The guys stared at him. “What? I’m the only one that hasn’t said it.”

“You said it was getting old.”

“Well I changed my mind, all right?”

* * *

Even though it felt a little stupid, they played Would You Rather, and it was actually kind of fun. There were silly ones like “Would you rather lose a finger or toe?” and then there were ones that were difficult like “Would you rather deactivate your channel or cut off your own arm.” (they all agreed on losing the am.)

Then there were difficult and kind of sad ones like “Would you rather have a loved family member die or your best friend?” and “Would you rather give up teddy bears or gaming?” (that was for Jon, and he almost had a breakdown.) At one point during their game, the oven beeped signaling that the cookies were done. They continued the game with warm chocolate chip cookies and large glasses of milk.

“Best cookies ever, man,” said Luke as he began indulging in his fifth one.

“Dese er thuckin grt,” Jon said with a mouthful.

“Eh, I’ve had better,” Ryan said nonchalantly. Bryce threw a cookie at him.

“Okay, okay, they’re pretty good. We’re not having another food fight, not after the popcorn incident.”

Bryce smiled. “Agreed. And yeah, these cookies are fantastic.”

“So…Bryce,” Jon said. “Would you rather have to put down Ellie or Taquito?”

Bryce’s eyes widened. “Can I put myself down? Is that an option?” The others laughed.

“You guys made me choose between gaming and teddy bears. Now you have to choose between two of your kitties.”

“Um, I guess, I’d have to pick Ellie, because she’s older and doesn’t have as much time left as Taquito.”

Jon faked a gasp. “I can’t believe you’d kill your own cat!”

Bryce swatted him on the arm. “You forced me to choose, you dick.”

“Whatever, man. Who’s next?”

“Guess I gotta ask someone,” Bryce said. “Um, Luke, would you rather…shave off your beard or stop being friends with Jon?” Jon and Luke gasped in unison and put their hands over their hearts.

“Lukey, you can’t kill the beard,” Jon said dramatically.

“But babe, it’s either lose the beard or lose you,” Luke said caressing Jon’s face tenderly. Bryce and Ryan were doing their best not to snicker.

“This is like a fanfiction,” Ryan whispered to Bryce.

“The beard is too magnificent for you to lose. Forget about me,” Jon said, looking away like he was going to cry.

“I…” Luke cracked a smile. “…can’t do this any longer,” Luke said, finally breaking character and bursting out laughing. A split second later, so did Bryce, Ryan, and Jon. “Nah, but for real. As hard as it was to grow and maintain this bad boy, I can still grow it back. I ain’t never losing Jon.” He pulled his friend into a bear hug and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Aw, I love you too,” Jon said in a falsetto voice, batting his eyelashes.

Luke pretended to be disgusted and pushed Jon away. “Bitch, who the fuck said I loved you?” Ryan and Bryce snickered again.

“Okay, okay, can we move along,” Ryan said, still chuckling.

“Sure we can, Ry,” Luke said. “Would you rather get a diamond play button or date Bryce?”

Bryce and Ryan flushed pink and gave each other a quick glance before looking away, embarrassed. Ryan tried to hide the fact that he was blushing with a smirk and some humor.

“As tempting as both of those sound, I’d have to go for the diamond play button. Seems harder to acquire, anyway.” He punctuated his sentence by winking at Bryce, who turned even redder.

“Aw looks like the ship still hasn’t sailed,” Jon teased. “Anyway, Ryan, you’re next.”

“Okay…” He got a mischievous look on his face. “Bryce, would you rather kiss me or get to 500k subscribers?”

Bryce almost choked on the cookie he was eating. He could tell that Ryan was serious too, so ignoring Jon and Luke’s snickers, he just shrugged and said, “Actually, I’d rather kiss you.”

Jon and Luke stopped laughing and just stared.

“Really?” Ryan asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Totally. I mean, I’ve already done it anyway, and…” he mumbled the last part. “…it was actually really good, so, yeah.” He looked at Ryan shyly.

“You’re not serious,” Ryan said, rolling his eyes, but simultaneously biting his lip while he contemplated if Bryce could actually be serious.

“Should we switch to truth or dare so we can test that?” Jon said cheekily.

“Nah, I think we’re good,” Bryce said smoothly. “Jon, would you rather only play Mario Kart for the rest of your life or only play Legend of Zelda for the rest of your life?”

As Jon thought out loud about what he would choose, Ryan continued to think in his mind about if Bryce would actually kiss him. _‘It’s just a game, he wouldn’t actually mean any of that, right?’_

_’Right?’_

* * *

After a few more hours of talking, and eventually playing video games, the guys decided to go to bed. It was about one am, and they were all exhausted. The graphics were burned into their vision, and the conversations they’d had were burned into their brains.

Well, at least it was for Bryce.

He couldn’t stop thinking about that one would you rather. The fact that Ryan asked that question, the fact that he answered that he’d rather kiss him. Like, he could have easily just said he’d like to hit 500k, and moved on, but he didn’t.

God, why was he questioning his own thought process right now?

“Bryce, can you help me inflate the mattress,” Jon said sleepily. “You have it easy, you just unroll the bag, climb in, and you’re done.”

“Do it yourself,” Bryce said, yawning.

Jon sighed really loudly but nevertheless got the pump. After about two minutes of inflating it, he turned it off and exclaimed, “I give up!” and flopped on top of the half-filled mattress.

“Lazy ass,” Luke teased, rolling out his sleeping bag.

“Shut up, I’m too tired to be bothered.” To prove his point, he rolled over and pretended to snore, causing a ripple of giggles from the other men.

“Whatever, sleep on a weak ass bed. I just want to fucking go to sleep,” Luke complained, sliding into his sleeping bag.

“Same here,” Ryan said, collapsing on to the couch.

“Well, good night then,” Jon said, continuing to pout.

“Night,” Luke said, zipping up his sleeping bag.

“Night,” Ryan said, pulling the comforter over himself.

“Night,” Bryce said, hoping that he’d get sleep and not stay up all night thinking about Ryan.

* * *

Well, he didn’t spend all night thinking about Ryan. After about half an hour, Bryce realized that he couldn’t get to sleep, and contemplated going to his room so he wouldn’t keep the rest of the guys up all night with his tossing and turning in his sleeping bag.

“Bryce, you still awake?” he heard Ryan mutter.

“Do I sound like I’m asleep?” he said. “I only toss and turn this much when I’m awake.”

“Yeah, I do too. You wanna, I don’t know, talk or something?”

Bryce’s heart started pounding. “About what?”

“I mean, anything I guess. How about something boring so we can both get to sleep?” Ryan suggested.

“Okay. Um, taxes, beige, politics-”

“Come on, that’s not what I meant by boring-”

“-your sex life,” Bryce continued, suppressing the urge to giggle.

“Excuse me? What about my sex life?”

“I mean it’s just something boring to talk about.”

“How dare you?” Ryan said, pretending to be offended. “I will have you know I am great when it comes to getting pussy and dick.

“Oh, I’m so sure,” Bryce teased.

“Is this really going to be our conversation?”

“Yes. I don’t believe you’ve slept with _that_ many people.”

“You wanna bet? I’ve slept with more people than how old I am.”

“That’s not even a high number. I was with Jessica more times than that.”

“Dang, you sure the two of you weren’t in a relationship?”

Bryce sighed. “Honestly? I thought we were until she left me and said that we never had been. She was…” Bryce coughed. “The only relationship I’ve been in that I ever…”

“Wait wait wait, you’ve only had sex with one person?” Ryan said, less embarrassed and suddenly amused. “Sounds like _your_ sex life is boring.”

“Well, two people, really,” Bryce muttered.

“Huh?”

Bryce rolled his eyes. “You, moron. You’re the only other person I’ve had sex with.”

Ryan blushed. “Oh. Right.”

“It hasn’t been so long that you’ve _forgotten,_ has it?” Bryce teased.

“No. Whatever, shut up.” He was still blushing.

Bryce laughed. “Okay.”

Ryan’s look of embarrassment turned into a smirk. “So, I’m the only guy you’ve ever fucked?”

“Well, yeah.”

“You’re pretty good for never having done it before.”

Bryce tried his hardest not to blush. “When you’re a top, it’s not that different than doing it with a girl in the ass.”

Ryan shrugged. “You do have a point.” After a few more seconds, he spoke again. “So, are we just going to put this behind us and pretend it never happened? Just, go back to how things were?” Did Bryce detect a hint of…worry in Ryan’s tone? Why would he be worried?

“I mean, yeah, I guess. If you want to,” he added at the end.

“Sure. Great. Yeah,” Ryan said halfheartedly.

“Great.” Bryce rolled over, trying to ignore the fact that the man he loved basically said confirmed that he didn’t love him.

“Unless…you want to?” he heard Ryan say softly.

“Excuse me?” Bryce sat upright.

“Nothing. Never mind. Forget it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Ryan rolled over so he was facing away from Bryce.

That was it. He couldn’t take it.

For reasons he couldn’t explain, he got out of his sleeping bag, tears streaming down his face, and all but ran out the front door.

* * *

Walks were actually pretty soothing. Just being alone with your own thoughts, just getting the opportunity to have some time to yourself. Especially at night, when there was no one around to disturb you. Bryce almost forgot about why he was upset.

Almost forgot.

Anyway, Bryce really did like taking walks by himself. He liked the peacefulness, the illusion that there was just you in the world, and you could reflect on your problems for as long as you needed to. He felt alone.

Almost alone.

“Maggie!” he heard a familiar voice shout. He turned his head and saw a large golden retriever barreling towards him. It jumped on Bryce, who fell over, giggling. The dog was giving him kisses and wagging her tail happily. Gosh, how could there be people who didn’t love dogs?

“I am so sorry! This is the second time that’s happened this week!” A woman ran up, clamping a leash on the dog’s collar. “I really should get a better leash for her.” The woman finally looked at Bryce and froze. He knew those brown eyes and freckles anywhere.

“It-it’s you,” Jessica breathed.

“Hey Jesse,” Bryce said.

“How’ve you been?” she said, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear. “It’s been a while.”

“Hasn’t been that long,” Bryce said with a shrug. “But, yeah, things are all right. You?”

She smiled and held out her hand. “You know how I am. Didn’t Ryan tell you?”

Bryce took her hand and she helped him to his feet. “Sure did. Sounds like things haven’t been great since you left.”

“Could be better,” she agreed. “Sorry, Maggie keeps breaking free of her leash. I guess when she recognized you, she couldn’t help herself.” Jessica smiled to herself. “She missed you. We both did,” she added softly.

“Thanks,” Bryce said, petting Maggie’s head.

“So, is Ryan your boyfriend yet?” she asked cheerily.

Bryce stopped petting Maggie and looked down at his feet. Jessica noticed his silence and gave him a curious look. “Bryce…Would you like to tell me anything? Like why you’re out here at two am, instead of at home?”

“Well…”

She sighed. “Bryce McQuaid, tell me you didn’t do anything stupid.”

“I didn’t,” he lied.

“Then why are you out here right now? When Ryan did that it was because you two had a fight and he was upset that you didn’t love him the way he loved you.”

“But he doesn’t love me anymore,” Bryce said sadly, keeping his attention on Maggie and avoiding Jessica’s eyes.

“Are you serious?” Bryce glanced up, and saw that Jessica looked shocked-like actually astonished-that Bryce would thing such a thing.

“Bryce, do you not realize that he cares about you. Gosh, he came here crying last night and said he fell in love with you but you were straight and there was no way you’d feel the same way. I said that at the very least he could try to just be your friend if you didn’t love him that way. Are you sure he isn’t just doing that because you haven’t told him that you love him?”

Bryce sighed. “That’s just it. I told him that I love him but he doesn’t believe me.”

“Why not?”

“Probably because he’s too focused on the idea that I’m straight and thinks I’m just trying to spare his feelings or whatever.”

“You have to tell him the truth,” Jessica said, crossing her arms.

“What truth? That I might be gay and in love with him? I mean, would you believe it? After everything I’ve said and done to him. I mean, I wouldn’t even believe myself.”

“Then make him. Pour out your feelings or something that’ll convince him. He flirts with you all the time in videos, doesn’t he? Even before this week, there must have been something there.”

“Well I guess…” Bryce raised an eyebrow. “Wait how do you know that he…Do you watch our videos?”

Jessica blushed. “Maybe. They’re entertaining. And I really like video games. But this isn’t the point!” She sighed. “The point is you need to tell him how you feel.”

“Why do you care so much? Like no offense or anything, you just seem to want me and Ryan together more than anyone else.”

“Bryce, listen. I knew you when you were still young and naïve.”

“It wasn’t that long ago…” Bryce muttered.

She held up her hand. “Hush. I knew you then, and I could already tell, you were too nice, too innocent, too perfect. Something along the way was going to fuck you up, and you’d have to learn from it. I was that thing. It was my mistake, leaving you. But I was the one who didn’t learn. I went from person to person, not caring who I left behind, until I found someone I can’t leave. What I want for you is to not be stupid, and learn from your mistakes. If you love someone, just go after them. Most of the time, they’ll realize their mistake. But only if you do something first.” She opened her mouth to say something else, but a beeping noise cut her off. It was coming from her digital watch.

“Shit,” Jessica cursed under her breath. She pressed a button to stop the beeping. “I have to go. Please think about what I said, okay?” Bryce nodded. Jessica smiled and gave Bryce a quick kiss on the cheek. “I have faith in you, bud. Maggie, let’s go girl.” She tugged on her dog’s leash, and the two of them began running away. Running, running, never stopping, until they were gone.

* * *

Bryce knew a shortcut home, but decided not to take it. He wanted time on the way home to think. What he was going to say, what he’d say if he was rejected, what he’d say if he wasn’t. He was worried that when he actually talked to Ryan he’ d lose his nerve and not know what words should come out of his mouth. Finally, when he decided his speech was good enough, he was only a minute away from his house. He practically sprinted home and got there in like twenty seconds.

When he got inside, it was dead quiet. The sleeping bags were on the floor, Jon was in one and Luke was in the other. Ryan was on the couch. All of them were asleep.

Bryce sighed and made his way to the halfway blown-up mattress, even though he wanted to sleep in his own room, he wanted more just to be in the same room as his friends. As he was about to lay down, he heard whimpers coming from Ryan. _Probably a nightmare,_ he thought.

Suddenly Ryan awoke and gasped out, “Bryce!” Bryce sighed, walked over to the couch, and sat down next to Ryan.

“You okay?” The brunet seemed jumpy, and he was still kind of shaky and breathing heavily. Bryce wrapped his arms around Ryan’s torso, which helped Ryan to stop shaking. He ran a hand through Ryan’s hair, and murmured softly in his ear, “Deep breaths, you’re okay.” Ryan gave a little smile as his breathing evened, and he hugged Bryce back. “You better now?” He nodded. Bryce pressed a small kiss to Ryan’s forehead. “Are you good for going back to sleep?” He seemed to ponder Bryce’s question for a second until Bryce said, “Cuz I could cuddle with you, if that would help.”

Ryan smiled. “It would, actually.”

They laid down on the couch, Bryce spooning Ryan, until they both fell asleep.

Bryce’s speech could wait till tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words cannot express how sorry I am and how dumb I feel for not updating this sooner. I felt obligated to finish it I got some extra motivation recently, so here it is, hop you liked it. Again, I am so sorry.


	7. Day 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Since it’s our last day, aren’t you gonna, I don’t know, tell him how you feel?”
> 
> “No…”
> 
> “Well why the hell not?”
> 
> “I’m just…I don’t know.”
> 
> * * *
> 
> "This is kind of your last chance, dude. Just tell him everything you feel. You _know_ he feels the same way."
> 
> "I'm scared, all right?"

Bryce woke up with a bright sunbeam on his face and the sound of birds chirping. And he was holding something in his arms. As he opened his eyes and began to have awareness of his surroundings, he saw that it wasn’t something in his arms, it was some _one._

Ryan.

His eyes widened as he noticed not only was he holding the smaller man in his arms, but Ryan’s arms were wrapped loosely around Bryce’s waist and their legs were tangled together. He felt slightly relieved when he saw they were both fully clothed, and remembered the events of last night.

 _‘Aw, he woke up from a nightmare calling for me. That’s kind of cute,’_ Bryce thought.

As much as Bryce wanted to officially get up and start his day, he just wanted to stay there on the couch, listening to Ryan breathe and just feeling him in his arms. Even though Bryce was really the one holding Ryan, Bryce felt incredibly safe in that position.

He was so lost in his own gay thoughts that he almost didn’t notice Ryan stirring. He froze, trying not to wake the other up. Unfortunately, even though it wasn’t Bryce’s movements, Ryan still woke up. He yawned and tried to stretch his arms, before he realized what position he was in and why he couldn’t exactly move his hands.

“Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” Bryce said, running a hand through Ryan’s soft hair. Ryan blushed and mumbled something about getting up. “Aw, you want to get up already?” he continued to tease. Ryan’s face turned a deeper shade of pink as he got out of Bryce’s grip and off the couch. “What’s wrong, you don’t like my cuddles?”

“Not particularly, no,” Ryan said, clearly still tired and not wanting to get up.

“Aw, well then, guess we should both get up for the day,” Bryce said casually, getting up and leaving a blushing Ryan on the couch.

He noticed that Jon and Luke weren’t in their sleeping bags, before hearing a shout from the kitchen.

“What now?” Bryce said exasperatedly, entering to find the two men arguing about something.

“He just-” Jon started.

“You know what? I don’t care. You guys are grown adults, you can figure it out for yourselves.” Bryce made his way over to the pantry and pulled out some cereal while the guys just stared at him.

“Since when are you so authoritative but still letting us do things on our own?” Luke said curiously.

“Since just now? I don’t know. Like I said, do it amongst yourselves.”

“Can’t say I don’t like the new Bryce, Ryan said, walking into the kitchen.

“Didn’t you like him before?” Luke joked, elbowing Ryan in the ribs.

“Whatever. So, Bryce, we’re doing the boardwalk-fair-thing today, right?” Ryan said, grabbing a piece of bread and popping it in the toaster.

“Yup. It should be great.” The two locked eyes for a couple seconds before looking away, feeling a little nervous and excited. Jon and Luke pretended they hadn’t seen it.

“So, we’ll leave around eleven and spend, like the whole day there. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect!” Jon sang.

“Ditto!” said Luke.

“Ditto,” Ryan said happily.

* * *

To say that the boardwalk was fun was an understatement. The first thing that all of them wanted to do was some of the rides. They started out easy, with things like the tilt-a-whirl and that ride with the swings that goes like one hundred feet in the air. (“Jon, it was only about thirty feet.” “It was way too fucking high okay???!!!”)

After they did the swing ride, Bryce got an idea and pulled out his phone, opening the camera app and started recording.

“Hey guys!” he said cheerfully. “I don’t really know why I’m saying that, it’s not like this is going on youtube, but whatever.” He giggled, and the other three just stared at him. “I’m kind of just recording this for myself, and maybe these guys too.” He looked over at his friends and said, “Say hi for the video.”

“Hey.”

“Sup.”

“What up, bitch?”

“Luke!”

“I’m just saying hello!”

“Okay, okay, this is just for a personal vlog, guys. Don’t make a big deal out of it.” Bryce turned back to the camera. “So, yeah, this is just going to be a little vlog, nothing too big, just to capture the last day of all of us being in the same place, at least for a while.”

Jon pretended to sniffle. “Oh, don’t remind me.”

“Shut up you big baby.”

“Ow! Don’t shove me! This is bullying!”

Bryce looked into the camera like he was on the office. “Yes, we are this immature and dysfunctional in real life too.” All of them laughed. “So, anyway, what do you guys want to ride next?”

“Bet Ryan would be up to ride you,” Luke said with a wink. Both Bryce and Ryan blushed madly and looked away from each other. Luke and Jon high-fived.

“Anyway…this is our last day, so we decided to spend it having as much fun as possible. And what’s more fun than a boardwalk?”

“Nothing!” Jon said, at the same time Ryan said, “Plenty of things.” Luke elbowed both of them.

“So, I just figured, you know, for fun, we could record our day at the boardwalk. And…yeah, it should be great.”

“Gee Bryce, no wonder you’re not naturally a vlogger,” Jon said as Bryce turned off the camera. “You are so awkward, man.”

“Thanks for the constructive criticism, I’ll keep it in mind,” Bryce said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, for real, what do you guys want to go on next.”

“How about that one?” Jon said pointing at a ride that, as far as Bryce could tell, just spun the seats people were riding in circles while the whole thing spun in a bigger circle.

“Yes! Bro, that’s my favorite,” Luke said, grabbing Jon’s hand.

“I know it’s your favorite, bro,” Jon pretended to say romantically. Bryce and Ryan had to cover their mouths to keep from giggling.

“Bro,” Luke said softly, looking deep into Jon’s eyes. They held it for approximately .02 seconds before bursting into laughter. Ryan and Bryce were already laughing.

“Okay then, let’s go,” Ryan said eagerly, and the three practically ran to get in line.

After that ride, the crew felt a little dizzy, so they decided to just walk around and check out some places to eat. None of them were too picky, so they all had hot dogs with different toppings. Ketchup and mustard for Jon, ketchup, mustard, and relish for Luke, onions and relish for Ryan, and spicy brown mustard for Bryce.

“What kind of freak puts onions on a hot dog?” Jon teased.

“A freak with taste. At least I don’t put two sauces on one hot dog. Who does that?”

“At least I’m limiting myself to only two toppings.” There were a couple of seconds of silence where the guys just looked at Luke before he finally noticed he was being stared at.

“Spicy brown mustard is gross,” he spat out, fumbling with his words a little bit.

“Don’t bring me into this,” Bryce moaned, giving Luke a playful shove.

“Can we just agree that we’re all freaks?” Ryan said with a chuckle.

“Sure,” Bryce and Luke said at the same time Jon said, “I’m no freak!” The others just stared at him until he finally relented with, “Fine, fine. If anything, I’m the freakiest.”

“In bed,” Ryan teased. Jon elbowed him in the shoulder.

They finished eating and decided to walk around some more. They each took a shot at a ring toss game. Only Luke was even able to land one ring around the neck of the milk bottle. That still didn’t win him anything, but he gloated about it until they all yelled “shut up, we get it!” in unison. After that they tried (and failed miserably at) games like milk bottle knockout, basketball throw, and shooting ducks game. Bryce got cute clips of all of them playing the games, until Jon told him to “shut that damn camera off because I don’t need any footage that can be fuckin used to mock me in the future.” They all competed against each other at a water shooting game, which Bryce won easily. (“What can I say? I’m great with aim.” “Yeah I’m sure Ryan can attest to tha-OW!”) He won a small raspberry colored teddy bear that Jon stared at longingly for 20 minutes before Bryce finally caved and just handed it to him.

“You are, on all levels except physical, a child,” Bryce said, only half-joking.

“Well, duh, man! Who would want to be an adult? Blegh!” Jon pretended to be disgusted, getting the rest of the guys to snicker.

“When the irony is that Bryce is the youngest physically but the oldest mentally,” Luke pointed out.

Bryce giggled. He pulled out his phone again and started another recording. “So Jon, how do you like your teddy bear?” he said, keeping his eyes on the camera while making sure to get Jon in the frame.

“It’s great, cuz I won it all by myselfs,” he said, crossing his arms and looking confident.

Bryce rolled his eyes. “Riiight.” In one quick motion, he grabbed the teddy bear from out of Jon’s hands and held it teasingly out of his reach.

“Hey, give it!” Jon protested, jumping up and down.

“Not until you say who really won it,” Bryce said teasingly.

“Fine! You did, you tall motherfucker.” Bryce grinned and handed the teddy bear to Jon, who snatched it gratefully.

“Aw, did he hurt you, Mr. Teddy the 12th?” Jon said as he snuggled the bear to his chest. Ryan, Bryce, and even Luke just stared at their friend as if he was insane. “What?”

“Why ‘the 12th’?” Ryan asked bemusedly.

“Yeah, dude, you have at least 43 teddy bears,” Luke added. “Not, that I keep count or anything.”

“Yeah, but there’s Mr. Teddy’s, and Mrs. Teddy’s, and baby bear’s, and some are named Mr. Bear instead of Teddy, and-” He stopped and flushed pink. “I mean I don’t have to explain anything to you!” The guys laughed for a solid minute while Jon stood there with pink cheeks and crossed arms.

“Aw, Jonny, you know we love you, man,” Luke assured him, pulling him into a playful noogie.

“No, you’ve lost your chance to be nice,” Jon said, shoving Luke off him.

“Whatever, man. Are we moving on?” Ryan asked.

“Sure. You guys wanna do more games or get to some rides next?”

“No offense, but you sound like our chaperone,” Luke teased.

Bryce rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Luke.”

“Hey! How about we do that one!” Ryan said excitedly, grabbing Bryce’s arm and pointing at a ride. Bryce blushed and tried to ignore the fact that Ryan was clinging onto him.

“Then let’s go!” Jon said excitedly, grabbing Luke’s arm the same way Ryan was holding on to Bryce. Except Luke and Jon didn’t give each other a short tender look before blushing and pulling away.

The ride they chose next was a drop tower, those ones that go super high in the air and then drop like an elevator that’s cord snapped. They all had to admit that the view at the top was spectacular, especially because the sun was a little bit behind them, so some of the taller rides casted shadows over plenty of the boardwalk. You could see everything from up there.

And then they all dropped at a speed of about 35 mph.

Jon screamed his lungs out, since he wasn’t too great with heights in the first place, Luke and Bryce were yelling because it was fun, and Ryan, deciding to be a bit of a comedian, shouted, “We’re going down, down, in an earlier round! And sugar, we’re going down swinging!” until they reached the bottom. Once they were off the ride in less of a panic, they were able to laugh with Ryan and even tease him for singing Fall Out Boy.

The ride had them kind of shaken up, so they decided to (clearly) make themselves feel better by eating cotton candy and drinking sodas from souvenir cups. Jon and Luke shared a bag of pink cotton candy, while Bryce and Ryan shared a bag of blue. Occasionally, Bryce and Ryan would reach for something at the same time and their hands would accidentally brush against one another. Each time they pulled back like they’d been shocked and apologized, embarrassed, until one time Jon was so annoyed he reached over and snatched at handful from the bag for himself.

“What? It’s taking the two of you forever to eat the damn cotton candy, somebody’s gotta do it,” he said with a shrug, stuffing his face with the sugary goodness.

Once they’d finished their cotton candy, Bryce and Jon immediately wanted to go on some more rides, but Ryan felt a little sick from the cotton candy, and Luke wanted a little break from all the excitement, so they stayed behind while Jon and Bryce ran to get on the pendulum ride.

“So…” Luke said once he and Ryan were sitting on a bench alone. “Last day here, can you believe it?”

“Yeah, it’s been a roller coaster-no pun intended,” Ryan said with a chuckle.

“Since it’s our last day, aren’t you gonna, I don’t know, tell him how you feel?”

“No…”

“Well why the hell not?”

“I’m just…I don’t know.”

“Ryan. Buddy. Listen to me.” Luke grabbed his friend by the shoulders and looked him seriously in the eyes. “There are very few things in this world that I actually hate. It consists of things like hate comments on youtube, people who don’t know the meaning of personal space, and scissors packets that need a pair of scissors to open them.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “And where is this going?”

“Towards the top of that list, are pining idiots who don’t know when to stop being such chickens and just confess to each other how they feel. So, for the love, stop being a chicken so we can all go to bed knowing that things are right with the world and that you two don’t hate each other anymore.”

“I don’t hate him-” Ryan tried to protest, but Luke held up a finger to quiet him.

“You need to take my advice. Tell him. Kiss him. Fuck him. Whatever. Just stop being such a wuss about your feelings.” Ryan blushed, but he had to admit that his friend had a good point.

“All right, all right, I’ll do it.”

* * *

Meanwhile, Bryce and Jon were waiting in line for the pendulum ride. They the ride go around for about a minute until Jon finally spoke. “So…this week has been fun.”

“Yeah, it has,” Bryce agreed.

“I mean, I know _I_ had a lot of fun. Luke told me he did too.”

“That’s great-”

“So did Ryan.”

Bryce was quiet for a second before saying, “Good.”

“Are you two a thing yet?”

That one was easy to answer. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Why do you think, Jon?”

“I don’t know? Why don’t you tell me? Cuz, I mean, he was the one who fell in love with you first, and now you clearly like him, so I don’t see the issue.”

“Well yeah, but it was a mistake. We shouldn’t have-”

“Bryce.” Jon’s voice was sharper than normal. Not that it scared Bryce it was just out of character for him. “I’m not talking about this week. As much as he liked to deny it, Ryan was infatuated with you for a long time.”

“Really?” Bryce blushed.

“Really,” Jon affirmed. “This is kind of your last chance, dude. Just tell him everything you feel. You _know_ he feels the same way."

"I'm scared, all right?" Bryce blurted out. “I still don’t want to believe it. I mean, I thought I was straight, but now…”

Jon smiled and rolled his eyes. “Life is confusing. And so is love. But just go for it, okay?”

Bryce sighed. “All right. I’ll do it.”

They got onto the pendulum ride a couple seconds later. Bryce had his phone out and was recording them on the ride. At one point, just for laughs, Jon shouted “Fuck!” Bryce covered his friend’s mouth to keep him from spewing any more vulgarities.

Luke and Ryan were having a conversation when the two met back up with them, but immediately dropped it when they saw their friends (and Ryan didn’t blush even the slightest bit for no reason why would Bryce notice that?).

It was getting close to sundown, so Bryce suggested they do the Ferris Wheel, since the line was getting long. “The view is amazing during dusk. The sun setting on the water, everything has an almost heavenly glow to it,” he insisted.

“All right then, let’s go!” Jon said excitedly, pulling on Bryce’s arm. Ryan and Luke rolled their eyes as if they were parents judging their child’s behavior.

* * *

The line felt like it took f o r e v e r, but eventually they were the next ones to go. It was only 2 per gondola, and Luke and Jon insisted on riding together, leaving Bryce and Ryan to go in the next one.

“I promise, the view is fantastic,” Bryce said excitedly, when Luke and Jon got into their gondola. They both nodded and Jon gave Bryce a wink. Luke also gave Ryan a look, but Bryce barely noticed.

They got into the next compartment and did everything they could to not look at each other. Ryan at first looked away on purpose, but got distracted by the sunset.

“Woah,” he said, as the Ferris Wheel began to move and he could see the view more easily The sun had turned a soft glowing orange, and it created pink, orange, and yellow streaks in the sky. The light reflected off the water, as did the colors of the sky, making it almost glow. “It’s beautiful,” he whispered. Bryce looked over and smiled.

“Yeah, it sure is,” he replied, not just talking about the sunset. The lighting made it look like Ryan’s skin was glowing, and the sun was in just a position that Ryan looked like he had a halo over him.

Bryce noticed Ryan’s hand just resting on the seat, and he tentatively put his on top. He could feel Ryan tense up, then relax. His eyes remained on the sunset, however, and he didn’t turn to look at Bryce at all.

“Look, Ry…” he started. “I…I had a good time this week,” he started.

“Me too…” Ryan murmured.

“I mean it. Everything. I’m glad you guys came over, but really, it was good to meet you in person for the first time. You’re a thousand times better here than in a screen.” He gave Ryan’s hand a small reassuring squeeze. “I’ve really missed you,” he said more softly. “You’re my best friend. I care about you a lot. You have to know that, despite some things that happened this week.” Ryan nodded but still didn’t turn to look at Bryce. “And, Ryan…” Bryce took a deep breath. “I love you.” The gondola stopped at the top of the Ferris Wheel. He felt Ryan’s hand tense up again. “I mean it. More than a friend. I don’t know what I am, but I’m clearly not straight, because I really _really_ love you. I don’t exactly know how or when, but…I’m in love with you, Ryan.” _There. Said it. Oh, please don’t be mad or scared,_ Bryce’s inner monologue prayed.

Ryan finally turned to face Bryce. His eyes seemed curious. He slowly pulled his hand out of Bryce’s tender grip. Bryce’s heart sank-but then sprung bac to life a second later, when he felt Ryan pull him closer crashing their lips together.

This wasn’t their first kiss, but it was their first real one. Neither of them were mad at the other, or drunk, it was a kiss of passion, intimacy, and-yes, finally-love.

They pulled apart after a few seconds, resting their foreheads together. “I love you too,” Ryan said, wrapping his arms around Bryce’s neck.

“Figured that when you kissed me,” Bryce said with a giggle.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Shut up, boyfriend.”

“Oh, so I’m your boyfriend now?”

“If you want.”

“Well…I’ll take you up on that offer.” He pulled Bryce into another kiss.

_'I love him…I love him!'_ Bryce thought 

_'He loves me! He loves me.'_

* * *

Their ride ended a couple of rotations (and a couple of kisses) later. They got off together, holding hands and giggling. Luke and Jon just stared at them expectantly.

“So?”

“What happened?”

The two boyfriends just looked at each other knowingly. “Oh, nothing.”

Luke and Jon clearly didn’t believe them, but they still smiled, knowing that things were the way they were meant to be.

The four stayed at the park a little into the night, because the whole place was lit up like a Christmas tree. Bryce and Ryan stayed together like two peas in a pod, even while Luke and Jon managed to both be the third wheel. When they all went to do bumper cars, the terrible two jokingly kept butting in to keep Ryan and Bryce apart. Eventually they all went “fuck it” it and smashed into whoever as hard as they could.

After the bumper cars, they did some more games, and Ryan won Bryce a purple teddy bear. Jon gave them both the middle finger when he thought they weren’t looking. Luke recorded it and sent it to Bryce. When he received it, both he and Ryan flipped him off in return.

“You already got a teddy bear today, and you didn’t win it yourself,” Bryce teased.

“Well, you didn’t win yours either, your boyfriend got it for you,” Jon sad, crossing his arms and sticking his tongue out like a toddler.

Ryan walked over and cheekily gave Bryce a peck on the lips. “Damn right I did.” Luke and Jon just stared at the couple with their eyes wide and mouths agape.

“What?” Bryce said innocently, giving Ryan a peck on the lips.

Jon stared at them for a few more seconds before linking rapidly and saying, “Well, I’ve been fucked, enough today. My body, lungs, and mind are a little worn out after this whole day, so I suggest we head home.”

“I agree,” Luke said.

“Ditto,” said Bryce. They all looked at Ryan, who suddenly got a cocky grin on his face.

“Don’t you da-” Bryce started.

“Ditto number two.” The guys just groaned and gave him light punches as Ryan continued to laugh. Bryce had an idea, and pulled out his phone.

“So, our day is done,” he said to the camera. We had a pretty good time, plenty of stuff happened, and uh, yeah we had lots of fun.”

“The most fun!” Jon agreed.

“Yo, let’s take a selfie! For commemorating and all that junk,” Luke suggested.

“Sure!” Bryce said, stopping the recording. The guys all tried to fit into the small horizontal frame. Jon and Luke had their arms around each other’s shoulders and were making peace signs with them. Ryan wrapped an arm around Bryce and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. At that moment, the camera _click_ ed.

“Ten outta ten!” Jon exclaimed, snatching the phone to view the photo. Bryce was still blushing that Ryan had surprise-kissed him. And now he had a picture on his phone to prove it. Great.

“Aw, Brycey, you know you liked it,” Ryan teased.

“Okay, I think we need to go back to my place, now.”

“Agreed.” Luke said.

“Vamonos, Vamobros,” Ryan said. The guys laughed.

“Please, never say that again,” Bryce pleaded.

* * *

On the drive home, Luke insisted driving, and Jon called shotgun, leaving Ryan and Bryce in the backseat together. Ryan fell asleep on Bryce’s shoulder, and Bryce laid his head on Ryan’s and fell asleep as well a few minutes later.

When they were sure they were the only ones awake, Jon and Luke finally got engaged in a conversation alone.

“So, this week was fun,” Luke started out.

“I mean, we did plenty of stuff that we do already,” Jon said with a shrug. “Still though. It’s nice that those two got together, despite some of the awkward moments.”

“I thought I was going to _die_ when they were giving each other the silent treatment,” Luke said with a giggle.

“Right? And when you could tell they both knew they liked each other, and when they knew the other like them, it was just a matter of, ‘who kisses who first?’”

“That would be ‘whom,’ but other than that, yeah, you’re so right.”

Jon turned around and looked at the two lovers sleeping in the backseat. “You think either of us will find love like that?”

“I hope so. Until then, we’ll just get to argue over which of us is which one of theirs’ best man.”

And so proceeded a twenty minute debate at eleven pm until they arrived back at Bryce’s house. Jon woke them up by yelling, “We’re here, bitches!” at the top of his lungs. Bryce groaned and flipped Jon off, Ryan threw a shoe at him, which Jon dodged with “grace.”

They all ran inside and Jon immediately flopped on the couch. “I am not sleeping on some stupid mattress tonight,” he insisted.

“Oh, no problem,” Ryan said in a husky voice, wrapping an arm around Bryce’s waist. “I think I have an idea of different sleeping arrangements for tonight. Wouldn’t you say so, Brycey?”

“Yeah, I think we’ll be good,” Bryce agreed. They came close to kissing again, but were interrupted by Jon and Luke pretending to gag.

“All right, all right, we’ll get to our beds,” Ryan said exasperatedly. “Brycey? Let’s go.”

Bryce bit his lip. “Actually, there’s something I want to do first. But it won’t take long, I promise.”

Ryan looked confused. “Bryce-”

“Wait for me. Get yourself prepared, or something.” Ryan blushed, even though what Bryce was saying really wasn’t that sexy. “I’ll be there in a little bit, okay? Promise.” He gave Ryan a kiss on the tip of his nose, and walked to the end of the hallway, entering one of the rooms.

“Well, I’m going to go to bed and pray that the walls are thick enough,” Luke said awkwardly.

“Me too,” Jon said. “G’night!”

* * *

After only a quick thirty minutes, Bryce had edited all of the videos from today into one video. As a last touch, he quickly opened his phone and added in the selfie with all four of them to the end of the video, and put the words “Best day ever” on the picture. He smiled, and let it upload to youtube as a private video, only sharing it with Luke, Jon, and Ryan. After a few seconds, he decided to share it with one more person. Satisfied, he got up from the desk and went to his room, where an eager Ryan awaited him.

* * *

_HANGIN’ WITH MY BROS! | Vlogs with Bryce (ft. Jon, Luke, and Ryan)_

Comments (4)

 **Cartoonz:** I was wondering what you were gonna do with this, man. You realize you could’ve just fuckin sent it to us, you idiot.

 **H20 Delirious:** OMG the real Bryce Games shared a private video with me! Lol for real dude, love it. Oh, and First Comment!

 **Ohmwrecker/Maskedgamer:** Really? This is what you were working on, you bastard. Could it not have waited? Although it is super cute, so I’ll give you a pass, I guess.

 **Say Yes To The Jess (ica):** Aw, this is so sweet. I’m happy for you guys. Guess things worked out, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The happy penultimate chapter we all deserve.  
> Also, fun fact, I once did that on a drop tower ride.


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